Shallow waters

Lessons learned

2011-11-11T21:30:00.002+05:30

So I'm sure a lot of you who know me personally were expecting something to come up here... Over the past few months I've even heard the whole- "Why don't you blog about that ?" phrase. Quite frankly... I dunno how to put certain things in words. Certain things are just better left unsaid .

I am thankful to all my friends... really pulled through all those times when things got really hard. Thanks for being there, checking on me to see if I'm OK when sometimes I don't think I needed to be taken care of that much but thanks anyways.

Thank you for staying up with me at 3 am in the morning and just listening when I know you had better things to do like sleep. And yes... for just being nice . It did make a huge difference.

For the stupid mistakes I made and the times I've hurt certain people all I can say is... I do apologize. I know that's not enough but that's what I'm gonna start on.

To relationships gone bad.. sometimes things are just not meant to be. Coming into terms with that is taking time to settle.

I'm still having trouble understanding people but I do try.. sometimes...

How to separate the wannabe attention seekers from the rest of the crowd

2011-07-29T17:44:00.006+05:30

You know those few people out there in the crowd who pretend to be something they really aren't-pretentious little pricks ...

Yeah well I do actually sympathise.. their efforts may work out initially but we all know whats going to happen to you in a few weeks to months. You get shooed over to the side and no one really gives a fuck about you. People bitch about you as soon as you leave the table or the circle of discussion.So what is it that makes these attention seekers so special

trying to talk in that sweet little baby voice which you think people really find cute... but you know its actually pretty retarded so retarded in fact that I think i puked thrice each time i see you trying to pull it off..
Facebook- you seem to put your entire life out there on facebook.. every single status update to the if only I could and it looked glamorous enough I would put pictures of myself going to the bathroom up on facebook for you guys all to like and comment on.
Bathroom display pictures... try to get the perfect shot of yourself by clicking from a gazillion different angles just to get the right lighting and effect
the pretentious accent... we know you can't pull it off... and its not like you've ever been out of the country so why do you even try! seriously! But i love the way you pronounce things in your fake accent wrong.. esp when you get corrected by someone!
I need to talk to all the people I hate.. and be extra nice and chirpy to them *kiss ass*
If I ever need to get laid all I need to do is step into a party at a club - of course darling.. that's why they call you a slut but I get it if you think its cool (not)
Getting super wasted at parties and then pretending the next day that you have a"capacity" you can never get drunk. So I'm presuming it wasn't you puking in the bathroom then? Evil twin scenario??? Nice touch.. how stupid do you think we are?
all your stuff is fake.. don't pretend they have tags. Who you trying to fool?
buy some better deodorant... you think people with sensitive noses can't make out the cheap from the not?

I'm sure all of us have come across the kind of people that make up the attention whores of the world and to those who are i sincerely hope that something falls to place in your life so you don't have to continue choosing this path (lmao)

The Rant

2011-06-21T17:56:00.010+05:30

People around me seem to hate the word confrontation..

I mean if u really have a problem come and tell me cuz I'm sooooo sick and tired running after you all the fucking time trying to ask you "Wtf is wrong with u ?! Whats your bloody problem in life!"

But then again doesn't seem worth it, to bring it up even..

and since many if you who are reading this know exactly what I'm talking about.. please do enlighten me as to what is going.. I would sometimes like to know too!

Finally getting my phone back what a relief! Good things do happen when you least expect it.

But apart from all this... the other side is that this term seems to be playing out very interestingly.. I think the word is serendipity, looking for something else but accidentally stumbling on something better... I know it was an accident but I do know your secret now its just a matter of time before the wrong people find out! I know your reading this.... what can i say it was too good to pass up!

facing extinction

2011-06-11T13:22:00.004+05:30

I'm standing on the sidewalk and searching, literally craning my neck, straining my eyes too either see one of those signs that read "local calls,std calls, isd calls, or those yellow little pay phones which use to be around a lot pre-cellphone days.

I realise that life's changed a lot after cellphones came into the picture and I literally dunno what life was like before.

Hmmm hard to imagine right? before text messaging, bluetooths, wasapp ,or even just making a simple call !

Damn it!

After like searching for a while i find one except that I don't have those one rupee coins just a couple of five hundreds and a hundred damn it!

Life is playing some cruel joke on my and laughing so hard the two most soon to be likely extinct things - pay phones and one rupee coins. I finally scrape the bottom of my purse to finally find what feels like those round little things which I seem to be having lesser and lesser of each day.

I take out a piece of paper on which I've scribbled a couple of contacts which I seem to be carrying around in my wallet these days...! damn you nokia! I WANT MY PHONE BACK!

I called the other day to ask whats up with my phone

its apparently under "observation period"! And I thought that was only a term doctors used to assess the progress or diagnose a disease!

I feel like I took my phone for granted all along!

Maybe I should go make up for that with a get well soon card and some flowers. I'm sure it would appreciate that.. maybe

2011-05-31T14:44:00.004+05:30

Hola queridos lectores y lectoras . Esperamos que lo están haciendo bien.

OK so I'm learning Spanish.

I know that's kinda weird and slightly random and spontaneous but I'm kinda bored and i don't have a lot of options this week.

True ... you may ask me wtf?! your gonna be a doctor don't you have a lot more important subjects to study.

I might even be like sure I do actually medicine, surgery, orthopedics, obstetrics and gynaecology, pediatrics so when do i plan to do Spanish.

It actually happened at the bookstore the other day when i was browsing through some books and i found a book on easy Spanish I sat there and read that for hours until i finally realised i should actually seriously read this it might make a lot of sense. Studying something you don't need to or never have to. Hey it might sort of help if i ever go on a holiday to south America or even Spain.

That little streak of optimism.

oh yeah and some help with those initial lines http://www.spanishdict.com/translation

sayo naraaaaa

2011-05-15T12:04:00.002+05:30

OK so its weird where this week i have really learnt that somethings from the beginning were way beyond my control and even if i tried it wouldn't be possible to change it for a fact!

I cant change the fact that some people just hate each other so much they don't even talk to each other or work it out. People can behave so totally immature sometimes.

And then life throws you one of those curve balls and your so unprepared that you just have to sit out and watch the sequence of events that follow without you being able to anything

about it.

I think I'm having a generally sucky week and over thinking this too much!

Plan B

2011-03-06T10:52:00.004+05:30

Dear me,

Life doesn't always go the way you planned so always have a plan B.

Whats that I cant hear you?

Oh you mean you mean you really tried but couldn't think of a plan B?

Maybe if u started having a little less high expectations in life you could get by on starting off on that plan B...

things could work out anyways.

Who asked you to be unrealistic in the first place? That plan A was crap from the beginning!

grrrr...

OK so from now on please do have a plan B so your not left hanging at the last minute!

sincerely yours,

the lil voice in your head you never listen to!

2010-12-31T11:48:00.003+05:30

ohhhhhh myyyyyyy gaaaawwwwwdddd!!!!

I have been looking over the past one year and reflecting over it and man has it been a roller coaster ride!

I'm sure change is a continuous thing and all of us go through with it and stuff but hmmmm if i was one year ago same time and someone gave me a brief run through of the year I would have probably told them to go to hell!

Things change people change life changes ... C'est la vie..

Happy new year everyone! To better beginnings and continuing prosperity..

I do sound like a 50yr old!

Deprivation

2010-11-19T18:00:00.006+05:30

I was having the most beautiful dream I was in my hostel... i walk down to the mess hall and they are serving me three different cuisines Chinese , Italian, Indian... the champagnes flowing, the waiters in white looking very polished are serving the Hors d'oeuvres people are all dressed up, the food looking absolutely good theres penne, ravioli, cheese naan, dumplings, springrolls and theres actual basmathi rice... Ive never seen basmathi rice for a very long time!!!

The best part was the dessert, tiramisu, geltatos, sorbet, gajar halva and those little kajju burffi's i love sooooooo much!!! hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... soooooooo good

And then i hear this voice... are you not feeling well? ohhhhh this food must be soooo good its making me .... sick ???

tap tap

Im having a very sudden awakening from this beautiful world... my ent professor standing over my table are u OK? are you not feeling well???

oh shit!!!

I've dozed off for the past one hour on my paper and theres a little pool of drool on my question paper too. No food.

Nikhils snickering at me.

Next question ... describe ostiomeatal complex.

Fhhhhhaaaaaacccckkkk!!!

Career goals

2010-10-25T19:17:00.004+05:30

This past one week it has dawned upon me that I'm old...

I realised this when my cousin sent me an organic soy ink birthday card on which she'd written this elaborate letter on how she was attaining her career goals and also added how she was happy her little cousin (moi) was in pursuit of her MD dreams.

Hmmmm... u know in those career developmental programmes they keep asking you where you can see yourself two years from now, five years from now, ten years from now. And how the more specific your answers are the more oriented you are in achieving those goals.

I think I answered one of these questionnaires and I gave pretty specific answers. Five years down the line I see myself in med school, ten years down the line an accomplished doctor with an MD particularly psychiatry ( thought now i personally cant stand the subject)

Its got me thinking is that it?

that's all i want to achieve in my life i know I'm at this huge turning point in my life where I'm young i feel i should be wonder woman and do something for the betterment of the community and stuff by giving back to it but i wonder how i never mentioned those things in the questionnaire because right now the question goes back to where do i really see myself or am i just painting pretty pictures for myself and shouldn't I be doing just more than what I think I should be doing... I think I'm very confused ... I need time to sort out my isssues and fast!!

2010-08-28T22:38:00.004+05:30

Its probably been a while since I put something up on this blog well I've been busy...

OK not really but something like it, doing productive things like

losing weight,
learning how to make the perfect chicken curry,
kick boxing using a certain beloved someone as my punching bag,
ophthalmology,
figuring out why my power points keep running away from me (uggghhhhh!!!)
usage if the term "yo" in sentences
buying things which I will never require
hangovers (boo)
chocolate binging (followed by weight loss attempts)
learning how to spell mayonnaise
picking my nose
sipping tea at waterfall

but as the great multitasker i am Ive been able to strike that balance make so time to post on this blog...

Soon I will post something interesting, and no its not a writers block!!!

Have you ever seen the rain

2010-06-19T15:18:00.004+05:30

Someone told me long ago
There's a calm before the storm,
I know;
It's been comin' for some time.
When it's over, so they say,
It'll rain a sunny day,
I know;
Shinin' down like water.

I want to know, have you ever seen the rain?
I want to know, have you ever seen the rain
Comin' down on a sunny day?

Yesterday, and days before,
Sun is cold and rain is hard,
I know;
Been that way for all my time.
'Til forever, on it goes
Through the circle, fast and slow,
I know;
It can't stop, I wonder.

This songs been running through my head for the past few days.. we had like 48 hours worth of continuous rain and everything is so wet but I'm not complaining .. its made things a lot better. I can totally relate to the lyrics theres a calm before the storm but at the end it'll rain a sunny day! I wanna walk without my umbrella in the rain and just not care how hard the rain comes down. I totally miss Kudla and can't wait to get back...

[picture courtesy: Nikhil Narayanaswamy]

Insecure

2010-05-28T18:47:00.003+05:30

Why do some girls seem very insecure in a relationship?
This happened to me..
theres this girl I know who I wasn't all on friendly terms before this but we would occasionally talk . She never bothered me. I use to probably occasionally talk to her guy .. one day i get this call
guy: hey how u doing?
me: I'm pretty good
guy: are you busy?
me:nah...
guy: OK... this might sound weird but my girlfriend doesn't like you talking to me or messaging me? She would like it of you stopped!
me: oh man... this is soooooo funny
guy: yeah OK i know its funny but shes my girlfriend
me (only thinking not saying) : don't you have the balls to dump her if shes giving you so much shit?
guy: what? OK wtv I'm really sorry it has to be this way
sniff sniff
what a dysfunctional couple! hmmm well but it doesn't stop there...
dysfunctional couple bitch has to spread crazy rumours about me that I flirt with more than half the class population of guys when I am in a relationship.
So the answer to the question would probably be... some girls are just born dumb fucks!

3rd year

2010-04-03T10:40:00.004+05:30

Third year is suppose to be the best year in your entire course of medicine ever.
This is probably cuz of the fact that you don't need to study all that much. You can get away with it at the end of the year.
Quite contradictory to what you expect from a med student but it really can't be helped and that's how we went wild in the first few months of third year.
Dancing on DJ counters to wild treasure hunts around Goa, near death experiences, getting arrested , para sailing, wild binge drinking club hopping nights, late night concerts, staying out staying up, eating squid (was actually a challenge for some of my friends) , long road trips, lighthouses, birthday parties, shopping on impulse(the reason for my bankruptcy)... and so much more.
This was all in just the first three months of 6Th sem the beginning of third year. Theres still the entire year left! Woo hoo!
Loving it!!!

Why guys sometimes make me feel so stupid

2010-01-20T14:34:00.006+05:30

Ok.. guys are in ways better than girls. An age old argument where I always feel I have to stress the point that yesss girls are much better than guys.

Why? I really dunno ...

but these instances have led to people labeling me as a feminist .

Guys at times do make me feel stupid.
Sometimes they are a lot more logical, mostly always right about stuff and they don't take it to heart. Say the same thing to a guy and a girl and you get different responses.
My roommate and me got into a fight once and I just told her to go FUCK OFF!
the response- she didn't talk to me for more than a week.
I told a guy to just go FUCK OFF once. He just laughed at me. And we were talking the next day too.
Guys also seem good at giving advice ( most of the time)
Hey why did I never think about that?!
They also seem to be more direct and always insist I be more too. Which is true yet not always possible.

Oh ya almost every guy I have known so far is better than me at math. For instance the other day dude I forgot how to do math I even forgot what two plus two is...
Its four some guy whispered in my ear... ya i know its embarrassing lets not even talk about multiplication and step by step division.
BUT that doesn't mean that just cuz they can they have to join in when all the girls are playing basketball and show off by dunking the ball . That makes me feel so stupid! We know you guys are good... No need to show off and ruin our game!
Assholes...

meetup

2010-01-16T23:21:00.003+05:30

text message : hey everyone I'm back in Bangalore lets meet up!

and we did... Long time no see. So lots of stuff to catch up on right? right???

Wrong.

Order lunch... eat look at plate , talk a little more, small laugh eat more.. *forks clinking on plates*

Can we shift to a better venue???

Jimi's terrace, music , booze and people.
Ohhhhhhh.....yaaaaaa
That seemed to lift every ones spirits up (no pun intended)
sitting down with a drink with friends and just talking about how life back 5 years ago was ... well it felt good!
Now I can go be happy again and not sulk around for a while or maybe that was just the booze talking! lol

2010-01-09T23:57:00.002+05:30

Something I just came across online

When drunk

2009-09-04T16:02:00.003+05:30

I asked a few of my friends "whats the craziest things you guys have done when your drunk?" I got some pretty funny answers

lie butt naked on the floor and made friends take pics

puke out a really expensive buffet

spent an entire night outside a friends house after being chased by cops

slapped a professor ( not too hard tho)

had unprotected sex

did butt rub dance with some girl at a club (she had a nice ass never saw her face)

dancing with a DJ at a party giving him a very hard time pulling girls to the dance floor, pulling their caps off and throwing it around or wearing them and displaying so very crazy tribal moves on the dance floor!

got totally trashed and came and gave a sem exam thankfully it was multiple choice

pissed on a hod's office door

put hand on counter and set it on fire

kissed not one but two girls (crazy drunk female whose bf forgave her since she was under the influence of intoxicating substances)

The getaway

2009-07-29T11:00:00.008+05:30

After walking along the promenade beach in Pondi all I wanna do now is have a house by the beach. Inspired by all the pretty houses there I wanna house by the beach cuz life seems so restful. And with breathtaking views of the Bay and the sun rising over it every morning what else could one ask for.
We went to pondi a few days back cuz all we wanted to do was get out ! At least that's what I wanted. That's what had kept me going for the past five weeks... I'm soon gonna be out of here!
Breakfasts at french restaurants and taking a map and discovering places by ourselves was just so much fun. And then there was shopping. Now I really get what they mean by shop till you drop!
Oh ya and how can I forget... booze is tax free! lol. people actually buy it wholesale!

Sigh...

tommorow I head back to class

Mess(y) food!

2009-05-15T16:35:00.004+05:30

Yes this topic was bound to come up and I was bound to post this.
My mess food sucks ( doesn't everyones?)
but its sucking so bad that I can't even eat more than two bites anymore. Food is depressing. One the bright side I've been losing weight, but more than necessary actually.
And hence I keep running home every month and my mom keeps stuffing me with food when im there.
Some instances why the food is bad

We had bananas and something else for breakfast today. That's OK but then they decide to keep out all the leftover rotten bananas just in case we bother to pick it up and eat it with lunch. Now the lunch is bad... black bananas make it worse.
On a rare occasion what they made was actually pretty good. So you go and tell them its good. After that...
its never made...
They decided to become a lil adventurous and put a little variety in the food. Spice it up a little. So they go along and name all the dishes. Now the naming process is really funny. Mixed vegetables with some green masala is "vegetable garden" and mixed vegetables in brown masala is navratna kurma. I swear they taste alike except for the colour change.
Pasty, stick to the roof of your mouth idlies with extra diluted watery sambhar anyone?
Have you tried puri's which are as crisp as papaads? Then your missing out on a lot aren't you?
Soya is like some kind of sponge paneer as tough as rubber ... looks like we're eating more than just food.
A year ago I found a cockroach legs with the whole lower torso in my breakfast so where did the rest of the body go? I so don't wanna find out. People have found extremely weird things floating in their food. Insects we can't even recognise and have stopped trying to a long time back .

I've heard they're trying to improve the mess food. Its happened before but then it just ends up going back to its sucky self. And as for me I try to eat but mom you make the best food ever and I totally miss that.

The disaster show

2009-03-11T16:30:00.007+05:30

The lights are full on. I'm standing centre stage. Alone. Silent.

One minute . Crowd jeers.

Two minutes. The kimono is fricking tight. I can't breathe in it . Crowd starts yelling "chandni chowk to china " , "chinki pinki ponki ", "move it...."

Three minutes . Music hasn't started yet I'm still standing , lights glaring so bad its hurting my eyes. I'm thinking what the fuck is going on? why isn't anything happening?

Four minutes- music finally starts.

OK so I'm moving ahead slowly... walking? rather drifting in the worst on stage nightmare.

Ya I think that's one of the best ways to describe it. The disaster show from hell. Or supposedly our fashion show. An inter batch competition every year in which this is one of the main events and always the grand finale of the week long cultural fest.

If there was any thing that could go wrong it did. Right from the organisation, preparation to synchronization on the ramp... It was utterly trash.

No matter how many times people say is every ones fault there are two people who we'd like to point the finger at . From being lazy, selfish, irritating, irresponsible and utterly disorganised in life these two could easily bag the best pull off of the most disorganised trashy show of the century.

So what went wrong?

Music- oh! ya... we're mixing tracks. Sounds so cool, but wait.. does this guy really know what he's talking about? And when we do ditch this dude on the last day cuz he came with the shittiest music ever which was supposedly "mixed" the only thing he did was put them one after the other. He tells us that iron maiden , mettalica is "classical" rock(wtf?!) Change the music change it before the show starts.

Props - we gonna have lots of life size props outta which people are gonna come out of and walk. Please... weird alien space ships and so called dragons (which looked like it belonged in the dump but found its way on stage) do not constitute props. And the person sitting on the last row of the Audi can so see two guys supporting the props when they aren't even part of the show.

Walk the ramp- So you can walk huh?

Doesn't look like it. No synchro, no waiting for your cue . Nothing .

Some people were so full of themselves that they messed up, some people were just really scared, some people wore pencil point heels and tripped on stage

. They walked on stage and gave each other bewildered looks like "whats next?"

Outfit bloopers- we had it all from the girls in skirts being a lil too short and low waist pants on guys with pubic hair exposure. Someone decided to get their face painted. It dripped on stage everywhere. YUCK!

Someones clothes tore and they bravely walked with that. All the way too.

Curtains closed at the wrong times and the MC couldn't find her way .

All in all it was one huge suck fest.

Better luck next time. Kudos to the wonderful job with the clothes guys sorry we couldn't live up to it.

Why u can't be nice

2009-02-24T15:45:00.003+05:30

O k maybe i really messed it up this time.
With a person you couldn't always call a friend but she was pretty important and probably a huge chunk of my coll life considering we have to spend almost 6 hours a day at least together.
The thing is it isn't so simple.
At times I really can't stand her but the other times i think shes a nice person . I try to be nice to her but I invariably end up hurting her. Its just that at times she gets on my nerves like by acting super dominating and with the oh I'm so better than you attitude and you can never really be right and if she doesn't know anything its not applicable or relevant in the field of medicine that it really gets to me and pushes me off the edge and I end up doing or saying something completely stupid that she gets unfortunately extra pissed off at. And later I feel like a total idiot.
But she can be a nice person and she is at times sometimes more often than the other side. Which I find really cool. Cuz at times we do share the same interests stuff it would just make it a lot easier if we just got along most of the time...
Not just for us but for everyone.

Doldrums

2009-02-02T10:15:00.004+05:30

–noun (used with a plural verb)

1.	a state of inactivity or stagnation

2. a dull, listless, depressed mood; low spirits

OK so maybe my year didn't start of as I hoped it would. The first two weeks I was horribly sick. Diarrhea , vomiting, headaches and a bad temperature.
The next two weeks were exams which were unfortunately very sucky.
The next week helloooo 4th term and another week at home which didn't kinda go out as planned cuz I couldn't catch up with a lot of people especially a few I really wanted to meet.
OK maybe I'm exaggerating a bit a few nice things did happen. But still if my life continues to be in this state of stagnation... hmmm not a good thing.
then theres the feeling that im pretty much outdated about everything and everyone. What has my life come to.
Heres to hoping for better days...

2008-12-31T17:28:00.004+05:30

Its December 31st.
Sigh ... Another year down .

And how am i spending new years? Sober as ever with a path/micro/pharmac (or maybe forensic) textbook at hand staring blankly at the pages.

No parties, no plans no nothing. In a hostel with about five hundred girls and unable to do anything. Apart from that theres the regular what have u been studying u dunno anything at all line given by all the lecturers. Its like they were all programmed to say that as we struggle to comprehend what they say... neoplasia? metplasia? gangrene? cholecystectomy? streptococci? ipratropium bromide? inaba? ogawa?

... ya did i just start speaking a foreign language. Maybe.

Post 26/11

2008-12-07T09:55:00.004+05:30

We all know about what happened on 26/11 and the aftermath of that.
So the question on most peoples minds is "so what next?".
Mumbai, Hyderabad , Delhi and now... Bangalore?
As thousands of people keep telling me the terror threat in Bangalore is quite large and we're sitting on a time bomb and dunno exactly when its gonna explode or hopefully very much just deactivate we just have to wonder so what are we really suppose to do?
Every ones going about their work normally but theres an increased awareness among people. Something makes a loud noise and we turn that way and sorta jump.
The area in which my college campus is situated is supposedly a very sensitive area where there are frequent riots and curfews.So the other day as we all drag ourselves down to the mess for breakfast and suddenly hear a BOOM and then flames everyone wakes up and rushes away from the window . Thankfully it was just some idiot who lit a fire with rubbish in it and something went off but hardly anyone went and sat near the window after that.

I just got back home to Bangalore today and my mom gives me a lecture about where not to go and what not to do. Do not enter malls and crowded areas. Be careful when going towards the majestic side etc etc. My mom happens to be slightly paranoid ( the understatement of the year).
Its affected all of us but are we handling this in the right way? Restricting our movements? Avoiding certain areas? And how long is this vigilance gonna last one two months at the max and then back to normal until something else happens?
Or can we prevent that?

The list

2008-11-19T15:56:00.002+05:30

OK clearly due to demand this list has been put forth...

Warning: do not judge me by the stupidity in this post

Play a guitar for my 'lover' by standing outside his balcony a la Romeo Juliet style except for the role reversal.

get sloshed and stand on a rooftop singing "we wish u a merry Christmas and a happy new year" on a hot summer night.

eat a dog biscuit

sneak out of the house after every ones asleep and do something dumb

repair something (it seems extremely challenging to me)

bungee jumping (don't we all...)

sneak dads car out of the house when hes not looking.

go to Gokarna (ya we all know why)

eat something french (not the snails tho yuck!)
blue streaks
go and shop for something i would probably never buy otherwise and actually wear it
work harder academically ( I consider this a very challenging task)
learn to drive a geared bike

So here's to the road ahead!

Cheers!

Turning twenty

2008-10-26T14:16:00.006+05:30

A few nights ago a couple of my friends were hanging around my room when my roommate goes like shit I'm gonna turn twenty in a couple of months and went into this melodramatic explanation about how she was getting old and she hasn't done much in her twenty odd years of life.Two decades of life down.. sigh its like a turning point on life!
We each contemplated and realised that neither have we. We haven't done crazy extremely wacky stuff that we can just picture ourselves doing them. We sat talking about our future and about how once were done with college these will be the major chunk of our good memories and we need to make them special.
My roommate also pointed out that we don't have much time. Since most of us are turning twenty soon or so she believes. So we made a list. Each of the seven of us made a list on what we need to do before were twenty we even cut out an old shoebox and started collecting funds on monthly basis we christened it ' for extremely crazy messed up shit before turning twenty fund'. I was made the treasurer and hence the box resides in my room and whenever people keep coming to my room for stuff they look at it and laugh. We know that years from now even when we look back at this we were gonna laugh our asses off too. Till then were pretty damn serious were gonna pull this off...

The syndrome

2008-10-16T17:45:00.002+05:30

They say that once you start your clinical postings and learning about so many different things in the hospital ninety percent of the medical students feel they have some sort of problem or deadly disease. Manifestations include being overtly paranoid about everything, seeing all sorts of micro organisms around you with your microscopic vision, using complicated medical talk to tell other people about your deathly psychotic sickness. Basically its all in the head
The other day we had OPD (out patient department) where patients come during certain set hours to be sen the other day. My batch mates and I were standing "observing" the doctors do their thing. Finally a batch mate of ours walks in and goes straight over to the patients side instead of joining us. So we started our "observing". Patient complains of "periorbital oedema" I'll spare you guys from the explanation but truth was we really couldn't see any "oedema" in the "periorbital" region at all. But she swears it was there yesterday night. LOL.

This classical example demonstrates why medical students should not be subjected to so much studying, the adverse effects are such as the above probably even worse!
A serious issue which needs some considerations at least. Before we start self medicating our selves and killing ourselves

emotion(less)

2008-09-26T18:12:00.003+05:30

I found myself in a situation the other day where I was sitting with two total stranger talking about -MEN . One a house wife and the other a recent MBA graduate we were stuck in a car together and just started talking out of sheer boredom.

The topic just came out of the blue. The two of them started out about how easy it is for a man to manipulate a woman if he just appeals to her emotional side. Haven't we all been a victim to this sometime or the other?

But I just realised it works out both ways. True women are more emotional than men generally are, but this hasn't stopped a lot of guys to give me the line " you played with my feelings" etc etc. All I could say to them was how so?

So most people can't help it when theres emotion involved and no matter how hard we try to put a barrier between places we shouldn't involve the emotional side to get the better of us it usually does.

Which kinda just leaves us against our last defences- but we're only human...

Piercings

2008-09-01T11:19:00.005+05:30

I decided that two holes on each side of my ear are not enough. So I decided to go in for more...
So I went to the place and got my ears pierced twice on each side again. Now I eight piercings in total on both ears.
A lot of people I know where clip ons and stuff. I feel its a bit wussy on their part to sit with five clip ons on each ear! Come on! Grow up and get it pierced! So people do ask the normal questions after you get something pierced like
"Did it hurt?", "Don't you prefer getting it done under anesthesia?", " Can you sleep?" "Cant you just get clip ons? "
To the last question as if!!!
Yes it does hurt, if you do it by gun shot its similar to someone stapling your ear,
And no for the first few days its impossible to sleep on your sides. You gotta sleep supine in a rigor mortis position. You can only take out the earrings they put during the piercing safely only three to four weeks afterwards though. This is to allow the wound to safely heal.

Now I gotta go shop for some rings...

How the holidays just start sucking

2008-08-07T10:33:00.004+05:30

Exams are almost always followed by holidays. These holidays gives you time to rejuvenate ,recreate and repent writing those exams.
Holidays also gives you the time to do those things you wouldn't be able to do on normal working days like take up a class or go out somewhere nice etc.
I remember during the last few days of my exam I was always planning how I'm gonna spend my one month worth of holidays. But as soon as they started I realised things sometimes don't work out the way they were suppose to and even if they did you end up getting bored in a couple of days anyways.
So whats the whole point of having holidays when your gonna end up getting bored with it anyways? And probably spend most of your time online or staring at the TV watching a re run of some old show you've watched five billion times.
The only thing I've probably been doing in the holidays would be classes particularly driving classes - release clutch , depress accelerator, 1st gear , neutral , 2nd gear. Yup. Meeting up with a couple of friends and watching TV. So what if I haven't watched TV for almost a year this overload is not good anyways!
Anyways if anyone has good ideas about how to spend free time please please please help me out.
Thank you.

Sulthan battery

2008-08-05T12:40:00.005+05:30

Didn't know where to chuck these here they are...

one of the most beautiful places in Mangalore

one year @ med school

2008-08-02T11:24:00.006+05:30

One year at med school:

She thought the guy sitting on the opposite side of the lecture hall was a snob and a smart ass at the beginning of the year. They ended up going out.

Dead bodies are freaky, but after you start seeing them almost everyday during dissection you kinda get use to them around when your discussing movie plans for the weekend or playing truth or dare and pictionary.

every open window in lab is a ray of opportunity to jump out and run after attendance is taken.
no matter how much you try not to touch the formalin you always end up touching it

white coats never stay white.
You probably only learn how to insult after you hear teachers " you think you'll PASS? The only thing you'll pass is urine" , "go to the exam and pass urine". " You are PATHETIC! absolutely PATHETIC"
lingo change - legs feel like ants crawling all over it after sitting down for a long time to its a sciatic nerve compression.

sleep is a luxury students just can't afford.

people just can't stop talking about passing.

no one ever studies for the last exam. the fact that its a last exam is distracting.

But its over... at least for the next six months.

The present scenario

2008-06-06T09:56:00.003+05:30

Time to open those books. Its about time to start studying!
"Start studying" is like the same line we've all been saying for a month now. Finals approaching in July .. it sucks. Lately I've been doing nothing short of cribbing, lack of sleep which could be attributed to my roommate who keeps threatening to pour a bottle of water on me if I don't wake up at five thirty in the morning. Its boot camp seriously.
Then there's the five million things to study and you don't know where to start. I've been chugging in caffeine for several nights to keep me awake or as its called in the hostel lingo -"night out" which doesn't mean a night with no in timing in the hostel but just means your gonna stay up all night in the hostel and slog your ass off on a topic that you wouldn't even understand if you read it some fifty billion times!
But hey... there's a promising one and a half month odd vacation after it.
So it should be worth it ... right?

The tag thing

2008-05-01T09:47:00.007+05:30

5 things you wish you could say to people

Im giving one my fakest of fake laughs can't you make out?

That's the most pathetic shit I've ever heard (without making them feel bad)

Pink shirts make you guys look so gay I'm to disgusted to even throw up on them

It would make things a lot more easier if you guys tried to be yourselves sometimes

Mom I flunked

8 things about me

I can read anything apart from subject textbooks

I love chocolate

I like to sleep late into the day only if my roommate let me.

I supposedly have an acid tongue

I show sparks of intelligence which make people say " oh so you actually are smart?"

I love my dog . If its between the guy an the dog its the dog.

I'm extremely lazy sometimes and just refuse to get up saying my ass is glued to the chair. I was literally lifted and hauled out of the room once.

I eat rice with two fingers , aloo bonda and fish fry with a spoon which has made me the recent butt of all jokes.

one way to win my heart

get me lots of chocolate ( no i will not share)

5 things things cross my mind a lot

when do I get to go home

food.. good food

sleep

murder plots to kill some of my lecturers

when does class get done

one thing I wish I never did

slack off work

three turnoff's

fake people

guys in pink shirts

dirty rooms

4 things I wanna do before I die

travel the world
drive a car at 200
scuba diving
buy a bmw

one confession

I like having assorted sets of notebooks(spiral bound, hard bound , soft bound etc etc) even tho I dunno what I'd ever do with them. I just love to collecting them.

I tag

aareet http://nangineer.blogspot.com/

samu http://samulicious.blogspot.com/

deepika http://allswelldatendswell.blogspot.com/

Exam trends

2008-04-26T11:18:00.003+05:30

This post has been a product of my observations leading up to and during this recent exam... I noted slightly exaggerated trends of some of my peer. They are as follows-

Under eye circles due to lack of sleep become the new "in thing". Followed by skipping bath, food and reduced telephonic conversations with bf's.
Bed time habits change, some sleep for two to three hours a day. I once was the earliest to sleep before an exam one thirty. They looked at me for days after like I'd sinned.
some people start talking subjects... like once this female came up to me and goes like " your teddy bear seems to have some form of Cushings syndrome, the symptoms which are pot belly, moon face etc etc. I swear since then I haven't looked at my teddy in the same way and I'll never forget Cushings syndrome.
constant dropping off or dozing on your books. I do this pretty often and when someone asks me to go sleep on my bed I reply I was just recollecting something with my eyes closed.
If you can recite a chapter out of the text book word to word people start coming to you to explain the chapter to them cuz their too lazy to study themselves! The only time I knew a chapter from the textbook was contraceptives. I'd never read the chapter but people really didn't care, they asked me everything from the physiological basis of after pill to flavors of condoms. I felt like I was giving sex advice ...sheesh
the most common thing which can be observed is I'm so tensed am i gonna pass? When they so know they are. I reply " no you aren't, your teachers will curse you, your parents will throw you out of the house, no one will ever go out with you cuz they think your too dumb and finally all your friends will turn their back to you all cuz u flunked in one internal in your entire year"
common lines "will I pass?" , "how much you done studying?" "When did u sleep when did u wake up? "
When the power goes off before back up comes those few precious minutes tick by people start taking out their cellphones and start studying using the light from it going crap theres so much to do.

So I guess exams do tend to bring the best in us and the worst in us too....

Changes

2008-03-28T15:19:00.003+05:30

A recent phone conversation with my friend made me realise that a lots changed in such a short expanse of time. Aren't we all striving towards becoming better individuals than what we were? We can't all just stagnate over time can we?
We were just talking about close friends and how we've been all changing... constantly. I've lost touch with a lot of them and was shocked at some of the stuff my friend was telling me about. Like the fact that I missed out on this wedding of one of my friends back home which made me realise that crap! shes got a husband I don't even have a boyfriend! Then theres the transformation of one of my friends underwent like this radical makeover minus plastic surgery supposedly I won't even be able to recognise her. From this total tomboyish look to this total chic look . Sneakers were replaced by 6 inch heels, from talks about brands like Nike and Adidas to L'oreal over Maybellene even her taste in guys has supposedly changed. Then there was this one friend who's gone into total depression and is currently on anti depressants. I still feel really shitty sometimes when i think about this considering we were pretty close at one point of time.

I use to think only girls complained about how fat they've become but this guy I know keeps complaining about his weight when hes actually become super skinny. lots of guys who started wildly experimenting with their hair and some really painful piercings (ouch!).
Then there was my friend who was on the other end who became a lot more artsy, a facet of her personality I've never seen.
I asked her about what she thought about me. She said " You know... I've always seen you make right descions and fast ones too but now you seem to be totally and utterly... confused"
hmm...

Hows life?

2008-03-17T16:33:00.006+05:30

Sunday morning
10:30 am
I'm still fast asleep
beep beep
With one eye open I try to find my phone. Its lying there somewhere on that table. Groping around for it and I finally do find it.

Text message : Hey , hows life?

Normally hardly any of us would think twice before replying to this. A friend who hasn't messaged in a while outta slight curiosity to know what you've been up to messages and asks "hows life?" Depending on how close this friend is I would use my discretion on how much information to give him/ her. But at that point of time I just stared at it for a while. I must have looked really weird at that moment with my hair all over the place in the morning, my blanket still on me in this awkward sit up position staring at my cell phone screen . My roommate walks in at that point and goes "you alright???"

"huh , ya just woke up"

After sitting up in a better position ,still staring at my screen I ask myself. So hows life?

Good? great?slow ? fast? bad? sad? terrible?sweet? spicy? icy? ... (the last part was cuz my stomach was growling.) But jokes apart how many of us can really answer that?

How is life? At that point of time I could say its relatively OK.. slightly on the boring side but otherwise I really dunno.

So I hit reply

"Life's... cool!!"
Cool???
Cool = I don't really know what to reply to that so I replace it with the most ambiguous word that could possibly mean anything at this minute.
Sigh... I've got a lot to learn.

Leaving home

2008-02-09T15:51:00.000+05:30

It's just so hard to get from fun mode to back to college mode. Very hard...
We realized this time that if we extended our holidays we'd feel worse when we got back plus the fact that my friend has a lot to organize when we're back. So when I text her to ask if our tickets were booked (we were on the waiting list till now) she replies saying "sadly they are , how I wish we could have stayed longer". So true. But tickets booked it just confirms the fact that we gotta go. No point postponing the inevitable. sigh...
So getting those bags packed and then we're back off to coll. The worst part about it is my mom crying. And my moms a really strong person and seeing her crying every time you say goodbye when you come down is well.. pretty disheartening.

These are probably the few things I miss about home

Dog licking me as soon as I get into the house
Music when I want it how I want it
the remote in my hand and sitting on my sofa
non oily chappatis
plain cold milk right out of the fridge in the night
my bathroom!!!
my warm bed with my nice pillow
no 6 30 curfew
sleeping into the morning
washing machine and drier
high speed internet
air conditioning!!!
neighboorhood sounds

the list is pretty endless so no point. Now I know what they mean by home sweet home. So true..

The relationship thing

2008-02-04T10:57:00.000+05:30

One of the sad things about being single is after the initial few months you start hating almost every couple you see hand in hand together. Whether random people on the road or friends etc its annoying. Maybe this is a more pronounced thing when most of your friends are already hooked up you can only be happy that valentines day thankfully falls on a weekday this year.

The few things I've noticed is that whenever you step out of the corridors at mid night its not silence that greets you but a million low buzzing sounds of all those girls sitting and having mid night conversations with thier bf's. I have this one friend who just can't get off the phone. She probably even falls asleep with the phone. Wow...

The stupid things people do when they're in relationships like get you somes notes at mid night right at your doorstep or run away as soon as you spot friends seeing you with your girl on an empty beach or upper berth- train journey- one pm or jumping waves are like some of the absolutely hilarious stuff i've witnessed, kinda cute but still I ask myself was I ever this way? Did I ever have the whole "in love" expression? Did I ever have more fun then than I do now?

I dunno , don't seem to remember. Maybe I have amnesia.

The kite festival

2008-01-25T15:44:00.000+05:30

my kite

OK, so boring Saturday we just finished theory internals the hostel is like empty. The entire ground floor is deserted, theres absolutely nothing on TV, my roommate and me are just sitting around...

So what do we decide to do?

The kite festival!

She thought I was joking, come on its so far away you can't be serious and stuff.

In the end I pushed two girls outta the hostel with me and we all set out to watch the kite festival.

The international kite festival was on this beach called panambur, really far away from where we stay so we took an hour or so to get there. It was nice. The beach is nice and big the sand is pretty fine so we all took out sandals off put it in my bag and set off towards the shops. The nice thing about those shops there is that the sand from the ocean just comes into the shops so the floor is nice fine white sand which really feels good in between your toes. We bought a couple of these shell trinkets they usually sell. Then we saw that they were actually selling some of these kites for the rest of us to fly. I decided I wanted to fly one too. So we bought a kite, took it out to the beach and flew it . It was pretty exciting, we all felt like little kids flying kites on the beach. Running away from people who were trying to cut out kites!

>sand sculptures

Finally I just sat down in the sand watching the kite festival from afar. Supposedly each kite took like eight to ten man hours to make and they were so beautiful, birds,dragons depictions etc etc people from different countries like Belgium, Italy, Korea,China ,Us, Australia had come to fly kites. It looked pretty amazing. The whole sky with different shapes and sizes of kites.

In the end we were tired and decided to head back. Kites in hand, reliving those childhood memories of flying kites! Now that kite hangs in my room reminding me everyday that the kid is still inside me and that simple things like kites and sunny windy afternoons at beaches could bring it out!

the biggest kite

The bleeders room

2008-01-01T15:16:00.000+05:30

So its new years eve and as my previous post said... I get extremely depressed thinking about what I've really done this year. So ya I'm sitting in my friends room as usual lost. All of a sudden she gets a call from Nikhil. B positive blood needed. Someone who hasn't had a vaccination in the last fifteen days. Our entire class got vaccinated a couple days back. Since I've already got my shots I was spared. So he asks me if I could donate blood. I really dunno what got into me but ya i was all joshed up, maybe I can do something worthwhile for once.
So we rushed to the hospital. Every time I step into that place I think someday I'm gonna be walking in here white coat Dr tag and work here... that hospital really gives me a high. So anyways theres Nikhil- shorts tee. Just got out of the room looks. On the way briefing me on what happened to the guy and why he needs blood and stuff. Supposedly he had a renal failure. We reach the blood bank,
Nikhil: you really ready to do this?
Me: ya
Nikhil: have you had malaria TB or anything?
Me:nope
Nikhil: Have you got drunk in the past 24 hours?
Me: *eyebrow raised*
Nikhil: k just kidding .. fill in the form.

Done.
The guy checks my hemoglobin. I notice two rooms in the blood bank the bleeders room, the refreshments room. There were more but those two were the only ones that caught my attention. Some of my friends came along with me... for support as they call it. Curiosity too.
We were sitting and all talking I'm lying down supine on the bed. Guy puts a spighmamanometer into my takes my arm injects this thick needle into me right into my medial cubital vein (don't bother I'm just showing of that I actually studied anatomy). He gives me a sponge and tells me to hold it in a fist that's so that the veins don't collapse.
The whole procedure took like half an hour another classmate came along too. Guess they needed a lot of blood.
It was extremely weird to see a huge thick fat needle sticking out of my arm. Every ones just talking, they said something funny I tried to laugh ha ha ended up saying ouch instead. After that I just listened to the sound of them talking rather than trying to make out what they were saying.
The guy came back in and took the needle off. told me to flex my arm and hold cotton. After a while I was asked to sit up straight. Felt wobbly first but then I was fine. Gave me some apple juice! Yay!
Then I could leave. The patients wife thanked the two of us. So maybe I did do something good. Not a total waste of the year.
Nikhil stops me at the door holds up three fingers and goes "how much am I holding up"
Me: five
Nikhil: ya shes good...

Rewind back

2007-12-23T09:21:00.000+05:30

So the New year approaches. That usual talk about new year resolutions. Damn I wonder.. is it even worth making this time? I mean whats the point? As one of my friends put it new year resolutions are meant to be broken. So the whole point of making them is for ... (fun? lack of alternative options? the heck of it?)
So I started thinking what it was about this year that made it so special-
rewind back

admissions
new friends they've brought about a hell load of fun with them... i have never been so not bored in my life!
new place,new coll
my first taste of the hostel life
new experiences
high suspense drama ( OK I exaggerated on that one ) But ya I've seen stuff out of a soap opera played in my life. I never thought stuff like this would ever happen in reality and least of all in mine, guess I was wrong wrong wrong.

So the key word there was basically NEW and damn this year has just run by so fast. I still remember last new years eve. The quiet one alone at home. How fun was that? lol. Had to give my dog company on new years eve ( I know , its suppose to be the other way round).Party or no party new years eve is rather depressing for me, one year down what have I really done this year? Sorta gets to me at times, what a waste and why ain't I even bothering to do something about that.
Unlike some people I don't have exams in the first week of Jan.
It starts mid Jan , crap! The towering portions, difficult topics... oh ya I'm gonna get majorly fucked!

the lesson so far

2007-12-21T10:50:00.000+05:30

She walks away head held up high, arrogance all around her, over confidence as some teacher put it later.
As she did the one thing that went through my head was these are the kind of people I need to keep away from for the rest of my college life. The over achievers who make me feel more insignificant than i already am. Later would i discover they were a whole breed of people like this. It was orientation day, first day of college we were just getting to know each other. Looking at our class, the people who I would be spending the next five and a half years. New place , new people. I felt like everyone else unsure, a bit scared, wondering whats gonna happen next. But this chick wow she comes and talks to me as though shes been doing this forever. I was a tad bit annoyed. How can anyone be like that?
Weeks rolled by we really did get to know each other or thought we did at least. For the first few weeks everyone was wondering what the other person was doing and assessing them accordingly. Who really did open the fresh printed textbooks first, who was loud who was not, who had attitude, who didn't. I listened to some of this most of it just curiosity with these new people and their behavior habits.
This chick seemed the topic of conversation all the time. Her weird habits, the way she made a couple of people feel terrible. Etc etc etc. Then it got personal. She said something which sorta struck a chord.
My roommates didn't say anything I didn't really get what she was trying to say and there was an uncomfortable pause. She walks off.
My roommates looked at me for five secs and then one of them was like "you really didn't give it back to her did you?"
That was it...
Whenever we saw each other it would always be this verbal lashing peppered in a really sweet way. Then she delivered this killer line " you know , we're gonna be in the same batch and same class for the next five and half years!"
Fuck! She was so right.
We had an exam the next day. Both me and her were stuck with the same tough experiment.
We fudged.... yup. Its like 2 hours just brought us together after weeks of bitterness.
Its hard to explain what happened it probably went something like this- we both wanted the marks. It was as though nothing happened.
After that we started talking , i respected her peculiarities she sorta came into terms with mine.
You can't really call us best friends, but you can't call us people who have bitterness between them. We're working on it. Feels good.
The lesson so far-Time changes things so drastically sometimes, who would even imagine...

Sleep.

2007-11-24T14:37:00.000+05:30

When people ask you for your favorite pastimes and you say sleep does that immediately put you into the category of being the most boring person on this planet? I recently just realised that this is true. Some of the most boring people in the world openly declare that their favorite hobbies are sleeping.
Me for example.
Till date I would say that one of my favorite pastimes is sleeping(!). Initially it was just to bug people off. I never really liked the whole what your favorite hobbies, pastimes,interests etc... kinda gets lame cuz whenever you meet someone this is like the first thing they ask you . Can't blame them either... Their just trying to get to know you.. but still its something about that sorta gets me edgy all the time.
Later I did realise that I love to sleep be a lazy brat and ... snore away to glory. Come on you can't blame me either my sleep deprived schedule makes me crave for more sleep than the daily requirement for it in the end I sleep excessively.
I decided to change that and play a more active role in my life lol. By NOT NOT sleeping all the time. And not bore people to death with that dead look.
This whole thing sorta came about when a classmate told me on how emotionless,dead and pathetic I look. The fact that I'd been having a really bad week was a different story but still...
Sorta got me thinking about why I might be growing socially in adept , like a slow mental retardation taking over.
Its probably the water though.
We can fix that... I think.

The pink shock

2007-11-13T09:14:00.000+05:30

I think that its high time I start writing about some serious stuff on my blog. I need to address this extremely serious and pressing issue. Its about the colour pink - ON MEN!!!
Last week I was calmly sitting and watching TV , flipping channels as usual. I come to this one show, one of those dance contests. All of a sudden out of no where - BANG! this guy dressed head to toe in pink turns up, not just any pink but SHOCKING PINK! I go like "eee look what he's wearing daddy"
My dad goes like "pink is like being accepted by men everywhere, its trendy!"
Noooooooooooooooo they took my dad too. Next everyone is gonna tell me that pink is the new black! Yuck!
I've asked most girls on their take on this controversial topic. 99% say pink on men is just sooooo gay! Its a total turn off.Purple is OK - OK but pink, no way.
Screw fashion magazines for showing metro sexual men wearing pink shirts, jerseys, ties... ugh the list is endless. I even came across an article which went by the name "only real men wear pink". Well I guess it really does take guts to put on something which can be a turn off to the opposite sex and walk around the streets like nothing happened.
I do manage to see quite a few guys on the road in pink. "cute guy, eeeww wtf is he wearing?"
I cringe at the sight of pink on guys. Especially the cute ones.. sigh.. what a waste!
For the betterment of mankind ... guys please ditch the pink!

Happy Diwali

2007-11-10T10:37:00.001+05:30

I found people fall into three categories- those who just love to celebrate festivals would take pain staking efforts to make sure every thing is in order, those who just don't care and bother about what it is, just another day and then the third category- those people who are like stuck in between the extremes. The last ones me.
I've always sorta been stuck in between two opposite forces in my house an agnostic parent and a religious one. When a friend asks me "what plans for diwali?" I'm usually like probably go to a few places we're invited to, sweets , crackers etc.
But recently I just pondered about what is diwali to me and does it really mean something more to me? Festivals are usually that one time where everyone is always around. And I realised this is like the one time of the year where everyone s going to be under one roof eating, talking, laughing ,joking having fun! And recently I realised that Diwali really did mean a lot to me, because it brought everyone together to celebrate something.

So happy diwali everyone and a safe one too! Have fun!!!

The interrogation

2007-11-04T13:30:00.000+05:30

So the thing with me and my family is, we hardly talk on the phone when I'm at the hostel. Its always like its a timed talk. Dad or Mom asks

How are you?
Hows college?
How far have you gotten in your anatomy dissection?

Three usual and probably only questions they ask me, if anything extra is to be said the whole conversation lasts for 6 minutes tops.
Last time my dad came to visit me he met a couple of my friends. The first question he asks is not hows hostel, weather, food, anything... noooooo he asks them so you guys at the same dissection table?
Oh ya... sent alarm bells ringing in my friends head. They all thought he'd take an on spot viva right there. Yes my friends still do talk to me.
So when I was home this Diwali break I was asked

Dad: So do they give you pickle to eat in the mess?
me: ya they do
sis: what sports do you play?
mom: shes a medical student , she doesn't have time to play (grrrr...)
me: (ignores comment) ya I do occasionally play t.t or shuttle or something.
Dad:TT that's good... helps you become dexterous ,helps perform surgeries better.

a little while later, I dunno how this came up but dad asks :what do platlets do?
me:(crap , viva!!!) out of syllabus...

I swear i couldn't remember a word of that stuff when my dad asks me all these sudden questions. I do comparatively better in the vivas in college.At least I know what a platelet does---- it CLOTS! Fucking hell! Thank god I just come here twice a year or my self confidence levels would be non existent!
Sorta contradictory to my previous post, but my family is like this when it comes to academics.. I swear they're pretty normal otherwise.
Really...

CPR

2007-11-01T09:49:00.000+05:30

OK so this is revival blog operation! Yes my blog is not dead... I still exist thought some consider that since my blog hasn't been updated for so long , so that means I probably died in some freak accident or I just lost interest, i disappeared off the face of this earth...

BUT NO!!!!!

I'M BACK BABY!!

OK so the reason why my blog hasn't been updated for so long is cuz of a lot of chaos in my life, not to worry clearing the clutter right now.
So first things first, first sessional's done, unexpected things happened , but all for the better YEAY!

I'm single, oh ya... and quite frankly enjoying it. That ain't gonna change for a long time. Ithink I've had enough guy trouble in the past few months . (To all those who know what I'm talking about U guys must really be laughing your asses off at my expense, those hilarious situations I found myself in!)

Feels so good to be back home for the Diwali break. Parents pampering you, even my dogs giving me that extra attention I deserve . (Attention seeker ain't I!)

Good food, good company, good life, what more could i ask for.
If only life was eternally this blissful. I'm asking for too much ain't I...

The ghat

2007-09-15T10:13:00.000+05:30

2:03 I wake up with a start. Why the hell had the bus stopped? My friend sitting next to the window pointed out that the driver was like gonna drive us almost off the cliff. crap! We wouldn't even have known even since we were sleeping. Death would have come in my sleep, however fitful that was.
Then the bus started rolling backwards... OK so we were going back to Mangalore- right where we came from. crap!
Finally after a lot of unsuccessful ignition start ups they finally gave up and asked us to hitchhike rides! At two in the morning! hardly anything stopped. In front of me stood the road ,behind me the cliff with a sheer drop. The fog was starting to thicken and the only light coming was the light from the bus. The valley below was not even visible , the fog was closing in on our small group of abandoned passengers. Spooky.The buses that came by would hardly bother to stop.
After quite a while of waiting something came around the bend. With its glaring light we assumed it was only another bus which would not stop. But stop it did.... Mercifully!
An ac bus with like seats which had no bed bugs . Our previous one had quite a few which kept us itching into the night. Definitely god sent!
And yes i reached home safe!

my first surgical cut.

2007-09-05T16:09:00.000+05:30

Let laughter cease and comfort flee,
this is the place where death enlightens to educate the living.

This is probably the first thing that catches your attention as you walk into out anatomy dissection lab. Yes we finally had dissection today, yes I finally dissected a cadaver today. After like a month of waiting YES YES YES!!! So we enter our lab today white coats, dissection kit, a lab manual. We hurry to get a good seat near the bodies. Our first glimpse at the full length of the body. The smell of formalin in the air. Sorta makes you sick.
We finally sit down and the teacher comes explains to us how we use a scalpel ,forceps and etc etc, procedures, and what exactly we're suppose to be dissecting.
She asks us who's ready to start dissection first, nearly everyone jump at that. Cant blame us for being a little over enthu on the fact that this is the first time we've come to something this close that was one human walking talking and even breathing like us.
So each of us start dissecting. I feel a little too sick. I guess it was the formalin. At least three of them fainted and another threw up. But over all was a good experience.
As I come out I text my dad explaining to him what i dissected and his reply went something like this- welcome to the real world of being a med student!

A tribute to my bitches

2007-08-30T12:45:00.000+05:30

So this post as the name suggests is to my so oh close friends who i miss so much - nami, dc, keerthi, samu,ananya ... i so love u guys! I guess I didnt thank you guys very well.

Well not to sound gay or anything but you guys have been there with me for so long.

To Samu- talking to you on the phone the night i was not in my senses on the ride back home, cant believe you put up with me even when I was half gone and pretty rude. Also to the time I thought KK got arrested and wanted you to come with me to the police station. Ha ha you so stood by me... thank you.

To Nami- those rough times with Ann and magnetic effects( man we did study like crap that time) those light minutes where you made me feel so good about myself when I was feeling low.

Those bf talks, those exchange of ideas , debates, dancing till we dropped! lol.

To Ananya- purple haze, curls, late night chats, drama in every minute of our life! Whether it was jacking someone or just having pure fun, and of course the heart to hearts. Taught me a lot haven't you!

To dc- how would I have survive 12th without you! Your company is always cherished. And omg! those serious bitching sessions , rides back home, tuition, dhai batata puri etc

To keerthi- confessions! I probably confessed right about anything to you. 9th std and of course the usual bitching and ur puris and gobi manchuri were delicious!

Now as i sit in my room in the hostel you pics adorn my side and everyone who stops by asks me who you guys are and says the pics are damn funny! Thank you guys oh-so much for everything. Without you guys, I wouldn't be who I was...

White wash and hockey

2007-08-17T15:06:00.000+05:30

So I'm sitting here today to escape from the stench of my white washed room . All my stuff is scattered around in my friends rooms. Three bags filled with junk, a mattress and god knows what else I've accumulated over the ages! Now I don't think I can get into that room for ages to come.
That would probably be the only highlight of my day. That and Independence day. My first Independence day at Mangalore (no significance).
We all woke up at 6 wore complete white and had to sing this patriotic song . After ten just got into a pair of jeans and fled to the city. Bharat mall... pretty decent even though its a bit smaller than forum, Bangalore. It was fifteen of us from hostel who were gonna watch a Sharukh Khan starer- chuck De India. Hearts filled with patriotism all of us went shouted cheers booed etc etc in the theatre. It didn't feel third rate at all.
Was so much fun and made the movie way better to watch!It was nice to let our hair down get out and get away from college, hostel ,anatomy,physiology and bio chem! That's what happens when a really large group have an outing together!
Kick ass fun!

then now and later

2007-08-11T16:42:00.000+05:30

Is silence a bad thing? Is the sudden feeling of emptiness inside you fill you with dread?
No I am not PMS-ing I am simply stating my current position right now.
The feeling of dread and at the same time sadness of leaving something behind. Looking at you future and wondering where its gonna take you, imbibing where you currently are- it seems so surreal. But unfortunately / fortunately- that's reality. We have to face it at some point of time. Starting all over again maybe refreshing but at the same time hard- getting into the daily grind. Ah well not so easy.
Sometimes I feel so lost that I just drift away from here to someplace else. Its like a trance. Until someone brings me back to reality. Relationships strained over distances, family stopped calling (this is not necessarily a bad thing!). They all seem so far away in a different dimension of my life even though everyone is a phone call away. So they do tell me whats going on in their lives, but it feels so vague that-almost untrue or rather far away. Its this psychological thing i guess...

whew!

week one

2007-08-08T17:08:00.000+05:30

So its my first week here.
Its been one hell of one too. With late phonecalls with friends and sister this might actually be better for our relationship, with my sis I mean. whether its fighting on the phone or stuff like that its cool. We end up talking a lot when we haven't really done that for years- the last 11 years lol.Mom keeps worrying how im "coping" up etc etc
But I can say lifes been fun... Ha ha something my fiends envy about me and thier true fascination fills me with pride. lol. As they sit and complain about parents fight with siblings etc I'm internally laughing!
Sorry to the few friends who do read this blog... but since im venting out my feelings on this blog i thought id start with this... the major thing called independence..
Though I must say the privacy is zero.But then again going over to a friends room etc etc Laughing chit chatting lotsa fun!
Though i must say the weather is something to get use to.

The optimist approach

2007-07-27T08:09:00.000+05:30

I apologize for my last two posts being a little too nostalgic. Three days left and I still can't stop thinking about the last things I'll be doing. Like today-last time im walking my sister to the bus stop, last friday I'll be spending here etc etc. It might be pretty silly, I know. But I can't help but thinking.. sniff sniff
Time does fly by. All those things you wanted to say, should have been said by now, all those things done. Packing is almost finished. I'm just finishing the last minute stuff now. I still dunno how to stitch anything. Hopefully when someone will teach me there.
Now as I wait, I'm thinking, 3 days to go till I can feel the sand on my feet and in between my toes!

Do your own laundry!

2007-07-23T08:53:00.000+05:30

Off late , I've been in a mix of happy-sad emotion status' that I cant differentiate between the two anymore. Seems so overwhelming. Well finally the time has come to say good-bye to good ol' Bangalore.
The happy parts are when one of my friends called and told me that living away from home is nice and that you get a hell lot more freedom than you did when you were at Bangalore, says shes become independent and her mom is proud of her. My mom was proud of me today when I actually did the laundry i.e put the clothes in the washing machine , and put it on. ha ha ... i know it sounds pretty lame. But ya, my mom will flip when she finds me doing my laundry, and my mom can finally be proud of me. I can almost hear her saying " oh my daughter, she's such an independent woman, she can do the laundry by herself, last week she couldn't find the jam bottle by herself even though it was right next to her!" (lmao!)
Yup that's me. The girl who currently went from not finding the jam bottle to sorta finally being able to zero in on the point where it might be! I'm seriously not kidding. But anyways I do know how to take care of myself and I'm sure i can start managing to do that. At least that's one thing I can go to college and make my mom proud about! Just kidding..
Then my other friend had called, she was leaving to Mumbai, wanted to say goodbye! I feel its easier now. Now that the first time is over. But ya I felt kinda bad. (sniff!) She was a really close friend and one of those people from Bangalore I wish I could kidnap with me and take to college in case my roommates turn out to be bitches. Yup that's why I'm worried. No proper definitions for what bitches are like, I'm sure everyone knows what I'm talking about.

Well the last one week, packing still going on, toooooooo many many clothes! I hope it really doesn't exceed the luggage limit! Oh I got the last harry potter book too. To finish off what I wanted to when i was eleven! lol.Other than that trying to catch a glimpse at what life has in for me!

Leaving on a jet plane

2007-07-19T15:11:00.001+05:30

I loved that song, it always had a beautiful melody. Now .. its just sad . After I said bye to Nami for one last time , it struck me then that in less than two weeks I'd be air borne heading towards a whole new life.
Saying good-bye is the hardest thing. Packing bags just signifies and sets in to motion the whole set of changes we will encounter in the future. Having lived at home my entire life, being so accustomed and attached to this place I feel as though going anywhere else is the hardest thing to do, this change... Might not be that easy.
Sure we might meet new friends and have experiences worth a lifetime, but this whole human tendency or rather mine to sorta make it hard to move on is killing me.
The coming week, I hope things go well. And hopefully it won't be that hard to say goodbye...

All my bags are packed
Im ready to go
Im standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
Its early morn
The taxis waitin
Hes blowin his horn
Already Im so lonesome
I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Theres so many times Ive let you down
So many times Ive played around
I tell you now, they dont mean a thing
Evry place I go, Ill think of you
Evry song I sing, Ill sing for you
When I come back, Ill bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Then close your eyes
Ill be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I wont have to leave alone
About the times, I wont have to say

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

But, Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Pasta 101

2007-07-17T10:21:00.001+05:30

This is my version of making good pasta. Since I've been getting a lot of free time and using it to experiment in the kitchen.
Firstly I never estimate anything. No measuring cups no tsp. etc. I know for a beginner this is pretty bad, but still. I call it "instinctive estimation". So first things first.
The ingredients would be:

Water (try to take a little excess of this)
the pasta of your choice
vegetables (for mine I used carrots, capsicum, and beans)
seasoning (oregano and green or black pepper preferably)
Olive oil
pasta sauce
salt

So first take the water in a large container, add salt , add the pasta and cook the pasta in it for a while. After fifteen to twenty minutes check if the pasta is cooked , preferably by self tasting and softness checking)
Im all about time saving so till then keep chopping those vegetables. Carrots need to be pureed (cooked). So chop them first. Nice small cubes.
By this time the pasta would have been cooked. Be careful to ensure that it doesn't get over cooked or undercooked , the optimum here would be to endure the pasta is soft yet not gooey.
Drain the water using a drainer and put the pasta aside to dry for sometime. Next take to vegetables add a little cooking oil in the pan and toss those vegetables around while sprinkling seasoning . Mix properly. take the past in a big dry frying pan.About now , the pasta tries to stick together. Add olive oil and mix well. Don't add to much. As the pasta become too greasy.
Add the seasoned sauted vegetables and mix everything together well.
Next add pasta sauce, Now don't despair if the pasta become a bit too liquidy, tip the pan over and drain the excess liquid , or under desperate measures like what I went through, just put the entire pasta in water and this will drain the excess stuff.
After this mix well and taste, then its all left to you to estimate. What it needs in extra to suit ur taste buds or to suit the taste buds of the people you are catering to.

more on
Sautéing and Puréeing
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saut%C3%A9ing
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pur%C3%A9e

Entourage

2007-07-14T10:41:00.000+05:30

One day before the show premier's in India and i can say... I'm such a tv addict... watching prison break season 2 on dvd for two hours straight and then episode reviews on TV.com i think i'm officially gonna lose it pretty soon.

Vincent Chase.... *drool*

The placebo effect

2007-07-12T11:26:00.000+05:30

I always fell for it, as a kid. It would be the same routine, i get sick my parents give me something, I thought I was fooling them but it turned out it was the opposite they were fooling me, and then i would say "oh it worked I'm feeling better again". probably miss the smirk on their faces.
I, a child of eight cant understand what tablets for what thinking that as soon as i swallow it it makes me feel way better.
In my later years I did realize that tablets don work as soon as they enter your body, they need time. But i still I feel a bit of relief as soon as a gulp down a pill and say oh alright...
As they say its all in the mind...
And so I'd like to believe.
Placebo to me is a psychological state of mind.
In modern age , the placebo is used by psychiatrists to cure depression. My mom a practising gynaecologist says that for minor problems she usually uses a placebo, the patient dutifully reports back saying all is well, she says she hates it when patients get addicted to drugs which they wouldn't and didn't need in the first place.

there is certainly data that suggest that just being in the healing situation accomplishes something. Depressed patients who are merely put on a waiting list for treatment do not do as well as those given placebos. And -- this is very telling, I think -- when placebos are given for pain management, the course of pain relief follows what you would get with an active drug. The peak relief comes about an hour after it's administered, as it does with the real drug, and so on. If placebo analgesia was the equivalent of giving nothing, you'd expect a more random pattern ("The Placebo Prescription" by Margaret Talbot, New York Times Magazine, January 9, 2000).*

a young Seattle cardiologist named Leonard Cobb conducted a unique trial of a procedure then commonly used for angina, in which doctors made small incisions in the chest and tied knots in two arteries to try to increase blood flow to the heart. It was a popular technique -- 90 percent of patients reported that it helped -- but when Cobb compared it with placebo surgery in which he made incisions but did not tie off the arteries, the sham operations proved just as successful. The procedure, known as internal mammary ligation, was soon abandoned ("The Placebo Prescription" by Margaret Talbot, New York Times Magazine, January 9, 2000)

The idea of a powerful placebo in modern times originated with H K Beecher. He evaluated that over two dozen studies and calculated that about one-third of those studies improved due to the placebo effect.
The placebo effect may be quite harmful and dangerous in serious cases , may even be considered as a quack procedure.

Patients can become dependent on nonscientific practitioners who employ placebo therapies. Such patients may be led to believe they're suffering from imagined "reactive" hypoglycemia, nonexistent allergies and yeast infections, dental filling amalgam "toxicity," or that they're under the power of Qi or extraterrestrials. And patients can be led to believe that diseases are only amenable to a specific type of treatment from a specific practitioner (The Mysterious Placebo by John E. Dodes, Skeptical Inquirer, Jan/Feb 1997).

From then ... to now

2007-07-07T12:35:00.000+05:30

What they do say is true... time does fly by sometimes, you hardly notice, especially the last few months which have just gone by in jiffy.
Seems strange when you look back those past few months and you look at things now they seem very different and totally unexpected in ways.
Like ... i never thought I would patch up with this one friend and always thought that when I meant never I really meant it. Well i'm really glad that i didn't and things worked out between us in the end.
I was filling up her journal today and thought of all the things we've been through, the good , the bad and the ugly. How time changes the perception of things and people...
In ways these changes can be viewed as a really good thing in other ways bad.
And then theres the whole going away to college. I had probably anticipated it. But only when the realty of it hit me did a understand the true meaning of what it meant. It meant, leaving home after living here for my entire life, it meant sacrificing something, saying good bye to those moments where you had your mom make you a strong cup of tea and comfort you when things went terribly wrong, saying goodbye to those times when your dog slept at your feet or even on them in those long wintery nights to keep your toes warm, staying up late after everyones slept on those summer nights staring out the window and the silence on the streets and the soft rustling of the leaves in the breeze these are to mention a few of the things that I will miss and always will cherish no matter where i am.
But change should be viewed optimistically no matter what.
And cheers to those good times with family, friends and of course my beloved canine, who would put a smile on my face when i was down and low.

Love , live and laugh... always

productivity this summer

2007-07-04T10:35:00.001+05:30

All day I sit around doing absolutely nothing wondering why in the world am i not doing anything.
There must be something at home to do.
So i decided since the garden was so full of weeds and snakes that rules gardening out. I'm no good at repairing stuff, ( i guess its a job for every person with a Y chromosome and not me.) so ruled that out. Teaching my dog some tricks,( even the lion handler at a circus wouldn't be able to do that!) then i realized ohhhh!!! Cooking! Of course.
The only real stuff i know to do is probably maggi noodles, chai and pizza.
So i started off on paratha's. Stuffed aloo parathas. I kneaded the dough, flattened into actually circular chappathis and stuffed it in! All it needed was patience and persistence. Everyone said it came out rather well. Well thats a start!
Earlier this week I had been to the grocery store buying jelly, custard and cake mixes.
So my alternate career plans will probably include becoming a chef. Not that i'm in doubt that i'd ever make it as a surgeon, but just on the assurance side!

This is my favorite dish though, and soon to be made by moi
Palak panner-

Ingredients:

500gms Fresh Palak (Saag)
100gms Paneer How to make paneer
2 Onions grated Ginger, Garlic paste
5-6 tbsp oil
1 tsp pure ghee
Garam masala to taste
Red chili powder to taste
1 tsp cumin powder
Salt To Taste

procedure:

Clean and wash palak (spinach) nicely.
Boil the spinach in water and cool it.
Now mash it in a mixer.
Heat oil in a kadai. Add ginger-garlic paste and stir-fry for a minute.
Now add onions and fry till golden brown.
Add all spices except red chili powder.
Now add the spinach (palak) and little water if needed and cook for 4-5 minutes.
Cut paneer into pieces (Paneer can be fried to golden brown in a seperate pan or can be used as it is).
Add Paneer pieces to the gravy and cook until done.
Take out in a bowl.
Just before serving, heat pure ghee in a small pan.
Hold the pan over bowl, add chili powder and immediately pour on the indian palak paneer.
Caution: Don't allow chili powder to burn .

what dog would you be?

2007-07-01T13:35:00.000+05:30

I took this quiz on what kind of dog i would be-
hahaha... so funny, to people who know me, do you agree?

Jack Russell Terrier

This pint-sized explorer is the Magellan of the canine world. Always ready for adventure, the Jack Russell Terrier is known to wander off at a moment's notice. Her life is never dull, and entertainment is key. Accepting in nature, she makes friends easily and is usually the center of attention wherever she goes. Her high energy and upbeat personality make the Jack Russell Terrier a fun-loving part of any family.

loading ammo

2007-06-30T11:23:00.000+05:30

Oh ya... one more month to go, I have no idea if I'm anxious or eager for this change all i know is there's no looking back just another month to go! And thanks to a certain somebody who I was chatting with on msn today morning i realized that fact.
Well I finally made a list and finally started shopping. It must sound like some sorta great expedition to the Himalayas , and exaggerated hundredfold, cuz i guess this is a huge leap for me. As I said , never been away from home and family for a prolonged period of time and the last time i travelled without family, i got food poisoned! ( An incident in Ooty worth remembering!) .
So as I was saying, made this huge list of all the stuff I'll need, ranging from portable iron to hankies, to nail polish remover to stapler pins!
So we set out to get this stuff, my mom, a shopaholic who knows every inch of commercial street and the best of stuff in these gullies there ( shoppers secret- you always find the nicer things in the gullies of commercial street than the main road and get the best bargains there).
So we got a lot of junk jewelery. I just cant stop collecting them! So as we explored further and got more stuff. We were in one of these gullies and getting something called as a pico done to the clothes. It was a narrow gully with predominantly of Muslim/parsi tailor shops and on this wall was a poster of none other than Saddam Hussein. Inconspicuous as it may have been, at that moment when I noticed it , it seemed strange in this particular setting. Long gone is this tyrant, but his impression still remains even in the narrow gullies in commercial street.
We moved on, picked up our clothes and set off for Bhagat ram, very famous for their sweets especially gulab jamuns which i learned to love because of the way they make it.
Today we plan raid my grand moms cupboards for some necessities like towels and bedsheets etc, shes got an entire store which saves us the trouble of going and shopping for some.
My social calender right about now looks full, with so many people in town all of a sudden sigh...
So off i have to set out again.
In a way, I wish this would all be over, I guess now you might know what i mean by eagerly and anxiously!

diet coke won't help

2007-06-27T10:31:00.000+05:30

"Nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet"
-Nora Ephron

Rather than the strict diet I intended to follow, I've ate six bars of Cadbury milk chocolate, chips, ice cream and I feel bloated up and out of proportion right about now!
Damn all that high calorie junk food! Its not like I'm following an Atkins diet or something (low carbs , low proteins). Just trying to minimize on my fat intake. I don't need to drastically cut down weight, but I feel as though I'm on th tendency of gaining weight, and i have to admit I'm a huge couch potato, doesn't show ( i wonder why). So unless I actually get some to exercise, i'll have yen in one pocket and pesos in the other.
Now as I type this out my guilt strikes me, how procrastinating can i be? Damn!
My goal this summer was to tone my body , and become lean etc. Looks like I've been trying to do the opposite! After my recent sick spell i haven't really tried to work out much.
I do take my dog out for walk but that guy just doesn't like to exercise, which presents another major problem!As soon as we take him two hundred metres from home he starts panting and tries to either just stop walking or drags you back home.
My daily routine isn't helping either, which currently includes waking up, breakfast, TV, surf the web, check mail, reading a novel, treadmill, dozing off for a while... the rest gets too bring to explain. So by the end of July I hope to accomplish my goals , all of them which revolve under losing weight/keeping lean.

Goldwynisms

2007-06-25T15:52:00.000+05:30

They say its not as bad as they say it is.
It's spreading like wildflowers.
We'll jump off that bridge when we come to it.
Don't count your chickens before they cross the road.
You gotta take the sour with the bitter.
Gentlemen, include me out.
I'll give you a definite maybe.
I can answer in two words,im-possible.
Avoid cliches like the plague.
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper its written on.
Its more than magnificent, its mediocre .
Throw out all the old files but be sure and make a copy of everything before getting rid of it.
Directors are always biting the hand that lays the golden egg.
What we need is a story which starts with an earthquake and works its way up to a climax.
Do you want me to put my head in a moose?
Never let the bastard back into my office again-unless I need him.

college, hostel and all that!

2007-06-21T11:21:00.000+05:30

OK well, so I'm going to coll this year after all ( i dunno why i added after all but still).
I'm going to college in Mangalore, five and a half years over there after I've spent practically my entire life in Bangalore!
Well to start of with , its gonna be an entirely different setting, the whole med school atmosphere, friends, the weather ( its always warm and humid and raining most of the year there). Then there will be the whole course load which I've heard is a bitch! Gulp.
I heard at times hostel food makes you depressed, and there are times when you would feel crappy by looking at what your eating. But on the more positive side I'm gonna be 18! Time to face the world from my pampered lifestyle at home and life there teaches you a lot of valuable lessons.The guy at the admissions office thought i was meek and small , looked like a kid for my age that's what he said and was like "you sure u can handle life in a hostel?"
I said "yes" in the most confident way possible, then he said" we'll see, you sound so confident now but lets see if you get use to it"
I wanted to ask him "do i have a choice?" Well that's another gulp!
So we're going to see the hostels like a couple of days before college starts and figure out the room arrangements and stuff.
Back in Bangalore when i broke the news to friends , family etc i got a lot of mixed reactions.
Most of my friends were like ".... oh u gonna live away from home , why couldn't you try to get into some college here in Bangalore?"
Some were like "... we're gonna miss you so much so when u giving a farewell party?" ( Ya right!)
Others were like "so how many days left for college to begin..... omg! hardly a month , we gotta start hanging out more often!"

Haven't started shopping as of yet, not even made a list , but I'm sure on the first thing on my list would be baygon cockroach spray. You see I'm so scared of cockroaches that I'm planning to take a couple of bottles of it and exterminate my entire room before moving in. Added to that all the numerous other bug sprays and mosquito repellents!
Planning to go to comm street sometime and but new clothes and stuff , always wanted kholapuri chappals, dunno why but seem to like them even though they don't have any purpose whatsoever.
Other than that at present just hanging out with my friends and collecting and sending all my numerous documents! Such a pain...
And of course enjoying my last few days as a free bird before college literally devours me!

nothings happened

2007-06-15T10:44:00.000+05:30

If only my life had a lot more masala in it, maybe this blog would perk up a bit, but then i wouldn't be blogging would I , caught up with all the drama ?
Updates on my rather mundane life might include-

Pluto is getting better (yay!). Although he refuses to take a tablet , (I really wouldn't blame him, they taste horrible!) we still tricked him into eating it . He's alright, he's even up to his usual antics, which include grabbing a shoe and running off, bringing his leash and following you around the house until you take him out for a walk, etc
I've become sick! Yes its cough, cold ,fever etc Its forced me to sit at home and think of alternative ways of entertaining myself. Which include reading, sleeping, TV and talking to my dog. He really listens (or so I'd like to believe!) .
My intensive room cleaning has come to a halt recently since yours truly has been sick. Though I have finished vacuuming a major part of my room.
I have managed to read most of the books I had planned to read in the holidays, and even more! Didn't really find much time this year unfortunately.
Working on my six pack , no seriously not kidding.. will start off again the moment i attain full recovery!
Counselling around the corner! Anxious rather than eager, you may never know what to expect....

I wanna hula hoop!!!

2007-06-13T10:21:00.000+05:30

I know it sounds corny, but I just want to go back and be a kid again! No college to worry about, no admissions etc, just the next day of school, some crappy homework where they teach you whats abc and tell you to add one and one.
I want to go back, and as it may seem , I'm shrugging of responsibilities ,being immature and cant face situations. I just want to go back to those really carefree days,roller-blading, hula hooping, playing on the jungle gym and having that sensation when you swing really high and just jump into the sand below. That feeling when your in mid air for split seconds and it feels like your flying and then you land on your bottom doesn't hurt, cuz its just sand!
I want to go back to those days of playing hide and seek, stuck in the mud and all those stupid things we would play. Somersaulting and Marco polo in the water,having stupid races etc.
If only I could go back to those days of just idling around and the only thing to worry was curfews and homework and trying to not get caught in the act of doing something mischievous.
Sigh...
Time just flies, days, weeks, months, years, decades and soon i'll be eighty watching my grandkids so the same(if i have any that is).

Sunday morning

2007-06-10T10:21:00.000+05:30

Today I awake, the beginning of a new week. I sit on my bed, and think, is it morning already? Seems like I haven't slept in a long time. I wonder how this week would be, hoping that it wouldnt be as bad as last week.
The aromas from the kitchen come and hit me. Its the sunday special. Chicken curry, fish fry, capsicum bajji or something mouth watering.Cant wait for lunch. I go out, my dog looks clean and matted. He just had a bath. He sits there and sunbathes, to dry himself off.
The church bells ring its nine o'clock. I make myself some breakfast-toast,with jam on one side butter on th other, pre-packaged juice out of the refrigerator. This is my usual routine on a sunday.
Usually I sit and read the newspaper or a book or something, sleep sometimes.walk my dog and my sundays are days with the least amount of activity. Days i just laze around.
Caught up with a few friends , an old classmate who was very adamant that long distance relationships don't work out and how it would be very difficult. Another one who wanted to do something different in life after he finished college.
These things are things that I wonder about. Whether its long distance relationships working out,being different, in the end things happen the way they were meant to happen and they happen for a reason and maybe we can to a certain extent influence our destiny and future, but not entirely and that at some point you'll just have to let go and let whatever happen .. just happen.

tough decisions

2007-06-05T09:59:00.000+05:30

Currently on the verge of making some tough decisions in life and i'm only 17.
My mind is in this utter state of confusion and turmoil.I have no idea about what i should choose over what and why I should do so. This hopeless situation is taking most of my precious time which i would have rather used to just sit and stare at nothing in particular, listen to those tiny noises which you would only observe if u weren't as preoccupied. In short , now instead of just idling my time im actually reduced to think about my future. And my 17 yr old slightly immature mind may make a decision I might regret for the rest of my life!
My choices are really simple straight forward choose between two streams. One of which I have no idea about and whether I would be good at it ie commerce and the other being a subject specifically biology (dentistry) which i've been comfortable all my life. Seems simple I probably would have gone with choice two , I really would have. But we're talking about dentistry here. I can never imagine myself sticking my hand into somebodies mouth (ugh!). Kinda grossed out by that fact but still its an option. Close family flooding me with opinions, do commerce! do commerce! while my dad is of the opinion that i should play to my strengths and hes all for dentistry. Great career options in the future he says. Of course both have great career options. It depends on the person and the way he can cope up with the different stress levels which comes with the job description and of course talent and a natural flair for it.
After weighing the pro's and cons for both over and over again, talking to people wondering about whether what im doing is the right thing.... im still back to where I started . I'm still confused. Its just me, i'm always indecisive, hesitate till the last minute, and of course overly cautious.Just have to think about it . And since I have a lot of free time and I can sacrifice some days of idling sigh I'll have to sit and think it through. After all , my career and the next 50 years are at stake ( sorry for the melodrama, its just me). But as they say kesara sara- whatever will be will be.
Any suggestions are welcome, feel free.

The inheritance of loss

2007-06-02T11:10:00.001+05:30

This is one of those books you have to pick up in your spare time and read. Deeper meaning underlies the story, which everyone of us can very much relate to. I would recommend this book. An easy read but gets you thinking about your principles and how you can relate to these characters.

Haircut

2007-06-01T10:59:00.000+05:30

Well, I was looking for something to change in my life and was wondering what that could be. Thinking and thinking I finally thought, my hair! It was just too long , wild and tangly ( exaggeration intended). I always complained about my hair either it was too short , too long ,too bouncy, too shiny, too dull, too smelly , too un-smelly or just not perfect to be precise.
I decided that i was going to cut my hair short( not too short) get a small fringe ( not too in ur face). So the day finally arrived. I went and got my hair cut, sat on the chair. I remember as a kid I had this tiny hesitance when i went to get my hair cut. Its like animals are scared or nervous when u stand directly behind them and do something, I too was a bit insecure when something happened on my backside. I would get this tingling felling every time i heard the sound chop chop chop. It was that sound which creeped me out. But this time due to the double mirrors, mental maturity(after all shes only gonna cut my hair! lol) I felt quite alright.
So she began chopping my hair, chop chop snip snip. And I endured.... ahhh!!!
Final result.. my hair was pretty short. Shorter than imagined but it was better that the untangly jungle i had every morning when i woke up. And it would grow a bit in no time.
The only downside. Is that my hair gets into my eyes too often sniff...

Running out of optimism

2007-05-30T09:32:00.000+05:30

Due to budgetary constraints , the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice
-Anon

I have always been an optimist. Always looked at the better aspects of what could have been the worst of situations and this is precisely why I have survived till date.
Right about now I've run out of optimism. Oh I might survive but thats an entirely different story.
Cynics or any form of pessimism in general would turn me off. Rather I would avoid such people, afraid that they would dampen my spirits or even speak the truth.
But since my optimism is slowly diminishing. I see the beauty and art of the pessimist. The talent that is needed to give an air of dread and depression, carefully picked words which could only add to it.
Looking on the positive side has always been easy but looking on the negative side as rather very hard. And optimism does have ts shortcomings , relying on false hope- " maybe the suns going to rise in the west today". And i find myself becoming a pessimist. No light at my end of the tunnel...

Melancholy in May

2007-05-27T22:26:00.000+05:30

With everything happening so far its truly been melancholic. From the food I eat , to the clothes i wear , to the life i 'experience'.
To add to this is the atmosphere. My neighbourhood. When i first saw this place , about seven years ago, I was amazed any place could be so calming, so peaceful. Birds chirping , the leaves rustling in the breeze. The occasional sound of the car driving by, the sounds of the church bell ringing on Sunday morning at nine. Just serene.
After moving in here three years later , it struck me odd. The silence, as though it spoke a mysterious language i couldn't and probably wouldn't understand. I felt as though I was living far , far away.
Once I had been left alone at home, all alone with just my cat for company. At first , I was overjoyed by the prospects and freedom of staying alone. But then it was the loneliness, sadness and melancholy that overtook me.
Now i feel that again. Wherever I go. Something which I don't think I would be able to escape for sometime. That ardent hope has left me, left me with only emptiness...

Boast of quietness

2007-05-25T10:06:00.000+05:30

Writings of light assault the darkness, more prodigious than meteors.
The tall unknowable city takes over the countryside.
Sure of my life and my death, I observe the ambitious and would like to understand them.
Their day is greedy as a lariat in the air.
Their night is a rest from the rage within steel, quick to attack.
They speak of humanity.
My humanity is in feeling we are all the voices of the same poverty.
They speak of a homeland.
My homeland is the rhythm of a guitar, a few portraits, an old sword,
the willows groove's visible prayer as evening falls.
Time is living me.
More silent than my shadow, I pass through the loftily covetous multitude.
They are indispensable, singular, worth of tomorrow.
My name is someone and anyone.
I walk slowly, like one who comes from so far away he doesn't expect to arrive.

-Jorge Luis Borges

pluto and the tiger

2007-05-23T21:18:00.000+05:30

Ever been amused at how fascinated your dog seems after he's taken one of your prized possessions and just galloped away? These are usually the way the retriever's behave like. They take something and run away with it. Even though this is a common behavior among them we still call them "retrievers".
Now this is a story about a dog and his best soft toy friend aka a stuffed Bengal tiger toy.
Pluto the dog was one day spending a lonely morning lying down wondering what havoc he could cause in the life of these humans today. With one human in the kitchen and the other two little ones somewhere inside, he didn't have any company. And then he saw it, the white stuffed Bengal tiger perched precariously on top of the shoe cabinet he stood up on his hind legs and got it and then slid down skillfully and stealthily as a jewel thief would have with his jewel in his mouth he began wrestling around with it. This attracted the attention of his human from the kitchen and brought her in. She tried to pry it out of his jaws , but alas they were inseparable or rather Pluto was a little too possessive . One of the little ones came out of the room and saw this occur she took a biscuit something that dog loved more than his life and made a bargain. At first he refused but then the over powering smell of the meat treat made his mouth water, so he decided to let to of tiger for a while and get back to him after eating.
But the little one was too quick, she quickly took tiger and placed it on a high point or rather something which she thought was at a high point and he would never reach, up on the spiral stair case. He was always afraid of that thing it just made him dizzy. But tiger his new best friend was right up there. He was willing to risk everything for tiger (except the dog biscuit of course).
So he started the scariest ascent in his doggy life , the spiral staircase climb and so it began, he climbed and climbed and there tiger was lying there, he reached and came down triumphant at his acquirement.
The little one had underestimated the power of Pluto, he was smart .. oh ya. He probably couldn't do calculus or become a rocket scientist but he could fool the average human and was greatly underrated and underestimated.
But then two of the little ones did finally manage to fool him and separate the tiger and dog forever. With a lot of whimpering and growling and surprised attacks though. Thus ended the friendship between pluto and tiger. Tragic.
Two humans against one animal, my my an unfair fight it was but Pluto was just too good..
now i begin to wonder if the dogs were given the right opportunities they would rule our planet,
it might happen someday, the whole world being their kennel !!!

pitter-patter the raindrops fall

2007-05-20T21:49:00.000+05:30

That time in summer when you feel so hot and stuffy and really wish it would rain to bring the temp down a bit. Its mid may and summer is in full force , making living in the tropics very... sweaty.
This is when we need showers . They make the air seem less dusty and really clear , streets feel clean ignoring the slushy bad laid roads of course. All in all a rainfall right about now might do some good. And since I'm not doing much these days i keep looking up at those heavy rain bearing clouds wondering when the first drops of water will fall. The heat is killing me, it leaves u feeling sticky and disgusted, and the only thing i could really hope for is cold soothing , showers.
I feel like a farmer except i don't have any crop :( but still i gaze at the sky with such expectancy but end up disappointed soon after.
Well showers will come someday , but as long as I'm not out and caught in it!

Sunshine

2007-05-16T15:14:00.000+05:30

I stare at my ceiling wishing i had the answers to all my woes , worries and meaningless questions.
But i don't . I just continue to stare.
Wondering what would break me from this trance, and how it would, if it ever would. Dreams have been shattered and heartaches and mental wounds inflicted, i wonder what happiness was and how it felt like , it was but this long remote thing from some distant past. Drowning in misery trying to stay afloat but can not hence i sink into the depth of the misery, pain and suffering with no way out.

I'm soon meeting my maker

2007-05-14T22:23:00.000+05:30

Oohh crap and now results. They come one by one each one scarier than the other plunging you into a state of shock , deeper and deeper. I would rather write exams over and over again than face results!

It was nice knowing you , oh cruel world... tomorrow is D day!!! Well lets hope for the best.
My melodramatic stage exit.

signing off
untapped

ps-my funeral is scheduled half hour after pu results . half an hour because the feeling of shock and sense of tragedy needs to penetrate through my thick skull. If the invitation doesnt reach you , you are cordially invited. Venue- probably the shittiest parking lot we could find.

2007-05-12T15:51:00.000+05:30

"Every person's fight with death is lost before it begins. What makes the struggle worthwhile, therefore, cannot lie in the outcome. It lies in the dignity with which the fight is waged and the way it finds an end."

-Joseph Fletcher

Pheromones as Aphrodisiacs

2007-05-12T11:23:00.000+05:30

Pheromones are basically body secretions , which effect the organisms olfactory senses even though it is said that these chemicals have no odour thy work in mysterious ways.
One of these so called effects are the dormitory effect. This is when women living in close quarters or in a relationship fall into the same cycle thereby bringing about a synchronity in their menstrual cycle.
Unfortunately since the sense of smell in humans is not that developed pheromones do not play an important role. However it is said that pheromones are the scientific equality of a mythological cupids arrows. In many animals they are powerful sexual attractants. Or so called "turn ons".

Perfume industries have taken advantage of these pheromones and have designed synthetic ones or extracted them from animals and put them in perfumes. Even though they haven't been marketed as any such aphrodisiacs but as mood enhancers to relax and stimulate your senses they still sell.
The scientific community still has to give its final verdict on the pheromones. Are they really lust signals for love?

the aftermath

2007-05-10T13:46:00.000+05:30

So today morning is the day after last entrance exam of the season. Everyone asks everyone... so what next??
My cycle before today was setting the alarm for 4:45 am and continuously putting it on snooze a couple of times before waking up.Slept like at one and got up at seven today considering it strange that i usually need an alarm to wake up so early. Maybe the absence of the alarm actually woke me up. Funny as it sounds i made my self drift back to sleep as there would be no more thinking about so what subject am i going to study today or what do i need to do today... Had to tell myself i had nothing to do today except probably drift off. Seems quite strange considering the fact that i was waiting for today. But the end of the entrance exams has happened so suddenly that i have this empty feeling inside.Hopefully better days soon to follow.
Now i have to clean my room which looks like a tornado just hit it. For the first time in days i realised i've been living in a dump! Books ,papers, pens etc etc etc all lying around. My closet is such a mess. Dunno how i could even find anything for so long.
Have to start cleaning up.. but the fact is i've been hit by a wave of laziness.Had to go out for lunch today and had to make this huge effort to get out of my daze.

But with the aftermath also comes the sad part of the results. Scarier than actually writing the exam :(

What do u do?

2007-05-09T18:44:00.001+05:30

Just finished some major exams and yet dunno how to celebrate.As my friend says " the freedom is so overwhelming you really have no idea what to do!"
Its like murphys laws- You never catch on until after the test.
To late to go back and think how badly you did that test. Just sit back and relax for the time being. Cuz u cant do anything else anyways!!!

http://www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-teaching.html

Bread is dangerous!

2007-05-04T12:24:00.000+05:30

This was absolutely hilarious, something which i came across-

Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

This article was written by B.S. Wheatberry in a desert after consuming mass quantities of yeast bread then realizing his canteen was empty. (seriously :P )

The stupid stuff they make us do

2007-05-03T14:23:00.000+05:30

What's all our knowledge worth? We don't even know what the weather will be tomorrow.
-Berthold Auerbach
If only we didn't have to through the continual torture of studying the prosaic anatomy of a cockroach. It is the heights of stupidity. Who cares about cockroach even if they survived a nuclear bomb blast? I don't how that would even help any student who has taken up biology understand the subject.

2007-05-01T10:19:00.000+05:30

Nadie rebaje a lágrima o reproche

esta declaración de la maestría

de Dios, que con magnífica ironía

me dio a la vez los libros y la noche.

Let neither tear nor reproach

besmirch this declaration

of the mastery of God

who, with magnificent irony,

granted me both the gift of books

and the night.

2007-04-24T12:02:00.000+05:30

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday
-Mark Twain
Everyday brings it closer and closer..

So close, not good

2007-04-23T09:23:00.000+05:30

I'm finding it tough to express in full sentences so heres what i'm feel sweaty clamy hands, biting lips, everything depends on this. I can't fail this, but its in another four days, so close and not good.

A post

2007-04-22T13:09:00.000+05:30

days are cold
its still summer
worlds spinning
i'm wondering what i'm still doing with my life
nothing seems easy right about now
wonder how i'll live few years from now