I realise that I love writing. Part of me someday hopes I write something concrete. A memoir ? A story ? A factual address? Hahaha.
Off late I feel like someone injected me with a really strong drug. You know, the kind that makes you feel like not giving a fuck about things in life. I'm feeling like I'm on this precarious edge of happiness and satisfaction and I'm accepting it with a lot a gaurdedness cuz c'mon the pessimist in me knows something's gonna tip it over to utter gloom and doom. I just dunno what it is. I try to move along in life hoping one day I'm gonna wake up and feel like shit. But that day just doesn't seem to be coming.
I'm quite content. Crazy feeling right ?
Then a part of me wonders. Maybe something changed. Maybe something clicked in me. Like this contentment switch just went on.
It's weird to not worry about things that are beyond your control, it's weird to have emotions that you are finally able to control without letting take over you and it's really weird to finally figure out how things work and striving to be a better person is probably the only thing that matters more than anything else.
I'm not saying I've got everything figured out. But there's definitely a good change in me. A happy change. Like someone slapped it into me, like a drug with no half life circulating through me.
