severely OD'ed

The last few weeks have been so terrible for me all I can sit and do right now is type this our on my blog and wonder who the hells gonna bother to read it anyways. Its like an overdose of everything, the place the people just college in general and the fact that the minutest details seem to amplify themselves a lot. From fights with the roommate,bf, friends shouting crying screaming tearing throwing and just putting my hands up in despair at nothing going right for me and how stupid I feel sometimes to do the things I'm doing even tho I know the outcome ain't gonna be any good for me anyways.
All I wanna do is just run away and this is when I keep thinking about the quiet kudle beach which seems forever in its own bubble nothing existing outside the moon the stars the waves crashing the rocks and lying on the beach just drifting off someplace ... sigh whats the hell has my life come up to!
And I need sleep!!!! I don't wanna be an insomniac forever someone give me my sleep back I know u stole it!

When drunk

I asked a few of my friends "whats the craziest things you guys have done when your drunk?" I got some pretty funny answers

• lie butt naked on the floor and made friends take pics


• puke out a really expensive buffet


• spent an entire night outside a friends house after being chased by cops


• slapped a professor ( not too hard tho)


• had unprotected sex


• did butt rub dance with some girl at a club (she had a nice ass never saw her face)


• dancing with a DJ at a party giving him a very hard time pulling girls to the dance floor, pulling their caps off and throwing it around or wearing them and displaying so very crazy tribal moves on the dance floor!


• got totally trashed and came and gave a sem exam thankfully it was multiple choice


• pissed on a hod's office door


• put hand on counter and set it on fire


• kissed not one but two girls (crazy drunk female whose bf forgave her since she was under the influence of intoxicating substances)

The getaway

After walking along the promenade beach in Pondi all I wanna do now is have a house by the beach. Inspired by all the pretty houses there I wanna house by the beach cuz life seems so restful. And with breathtaking views of the Bay and the sun rising over it every morning what else could one ask for.
We went to pondi a few days back cuz all we wanted to do was get out ! At least that's what I wanted. That's what had kept me going for the past five weeks... I'm soon gonna be out of here!
Breakfasts at french restaurants and taking a map and discovering places by ourselves was just so much fun. And then there was shopping. Now I really get what they mean by shop till you drop!
Oh ya and how can I forget... booze is tax free! lol. people actually buy it wholesale!

Sigh...

tommorow I head back to class

Why do we bitch so much?

They say a lil bitching is always good for health as long as no one gets hurt.
Being too judgemental can too harm people who were not meant to be harmed in the first place.
Two things I learned on a rainy Tuesday night as I stumbled out of rick with two friends. The booze was just the right amount to make me feel warm and yes a bit fuzzy. We stop in the semidarkness in front of this car.. and oh some people are getting hot and heavy in there.
I dunno why at that point of time that I kinda went forward to see who it was but ohhh... wrong! I think I recognised who it was or the light ,booze and slight drizzle were playing tricks on me . But that's it ... next minute the entire floor was a buzz. A prof with a student in the night in a car... anybody could piece it together.
What struck me the most was how fast news spread. Like wildfire...
So I'm still wondering why do we bitch so much? Entertainment? Something lacking in our lives that others make up? The nosey attitude? A form of sadism? Well whatever it is from now on I think the phrase "mind your own business" makes a top on my priority list of things I should consider when I'm reforming.

Mess(y) food!

Yes this topic was bound to come up and I was bound to post this.
My mess food sucks ( doesn't everyones?)
but its sucking so bad that I can't even eat more than two bites anymore. Food is depressing. One the bright side I've been losing weight, but more than necessary actually.
And hence I keep running home every month and my mom keeps stuffing me with food when im there.
Some instances why the food is bad

1. We had bananas and something else for breakfast today. That's OK but then they decide to keep out all the leftover rotten bananas just in case we bother to pick it up and eat it with lunch. Now the lunch is bad... black bananas make it worse.
2. On a rare occasion what they made was actually pretty good. So you go and tell them its good. After that...
   its never made...
3. They decided to become a lil adventurous and put a little variety in the food. Spice it up a little. So they go along and name all the dishes. Now the naming process is really funny. Mixed vegetables with some green masala is "vegetable garden" and mixed vegetables in brown masala is navratna kurma. I swear they taste alike except for the colour change.
4. Pasty, stick to the roof of your mouth idlies with extra diluted watery sambhar anyone?
5. Have you tried puri's which are as crisp as papaads? Then your missing out on a lot aren't you?
6. Soya is like some kind of sponge paneer as tough as rubber ... looks like we're eating more than just food.
7. A year ago I found a cockroach legs with the whole lower torso in my breakfast so where did the rest of the body go? I so don't wanna find out. People have found extremely weird things floating in their food. Insects we can't even recognise and have stopped trying to a long time back .

I've heard they're trying to improve the mess food. Its happened before but then it just ends up going back to its sucky self. And as for me I try to eat but mom you make the best food ever and I totally miss that.

The disaster show

The lights are full on. I'm standing centre stage. Alone. Silent.

One minute . Crowd jeers.

Two minutes. The kimono is fricking tight. I can't breathe in it . Crowd starts yelling "chandni chowk to china " , "chinki pinki ponki ", "move it...."

Three minutes . Music hasn't started yet I'm still standing , lights glaring so bad its hurting my eyes. I'm thinking what the fuck is going on? why isn't anything happening?

Four minutes- music finally starts.

OK so I'm moving ahead slowly... walking? rather drifting in the worst on stage nightmare.

Ya I think that's one of the best ways to describe it. The disaster show from hell. Or supposedly our fashion show. An inter batch competition every year in which this is one of the main events and always the grand finale of the week long cultural fest.

If there was any thing that could go wrong it did. Right from the organisation, preparation to synchronization on the ramp... It was utterly trash.

No matter how many times people say is every ones fault there are two people who we'd like to point the finger at . From being lazy, selfish, irritating, irresponsible and utterly disorganised in life these two could easily bag the best pull off of the most disorganised trashy show of the century.

So what went wrong?

Music- oh! ya... we're mixing tracks. Sounds so cool, but wait.. does this guy really know what he's talking about? And when we do ditch this dude on the last day cuz he came with the shittiest music ever which was supposedly "mixed" the only thing he did was put them one after the other. He tells us that iron maiden , mettalica is "classical" rock(wtf?!) Change the music change it before the show starts.

Props - we gonna have lots of life size props outta which people are gonna come out of and walk. Please... weird alien space ships and so called dragons (which looked like it belonged in the dump but found its way on stage) do not constitute props. And the person sitting on the last row of the Audi can so see two guys supporting the props when they aren't even part of the show.

Walk the ramp- So you can walk huh?

Doesn't look like it. No synchro, no waiting for your cue . Nothing .

Some people were so full of themselves that they messed up, some people were just really scared, some people wore pencil point heels and tripped on stage

. They walked on stage and gave each other bewildered looks like "whats next?"

Outfit bloopers- we had it all from the girls in skirts being a lil too short and low waist pants on guys with pubic hair exposure. Someone decided to get their face painted. It dripped on stage everywhere. YUCK!

Someones clothes tore and they bravely walked with that. All the way too.

Curtains closed at the wrong times and the MC couldn't find her way .

All in all it was one huge suck fest.

Better luck next time. Kudos to the wonderful job with the clothes guys sorry we couldn't live up to it.

Why u can't be nice

O k maybe i really messed it up this time.
With a person you couldn't always call a friend but she was pretty important and probably a huge chunk of my coll life considering we have to spend almost 6 hours a day at least together.
The thing is it isn't so simple.
At times I really can't stand her but the other times i think shes a nice person . I try to be nice to her but I invariably end up hurting her. Its just that at times she gets on my nerves like by acting super dominating and with the oh I'm so better than you attitude and you can never really be right and if she doesn't know anything its not applicable or relevant in the field of medicine that it really gets to me and pushes me off the edge and I end up doing or saying something completely stupid that she gets unfortunately extra pissed off at. And later I feel like a total idiot.
But she can be a nice person and she is at times sometimes more often than the other side. Which I find really cool. Cuz at times we do share the same interests stuff it would just make it a lot easier if we just got along most of the time...
Not just for us but for everyone.

Doldrums

–noun (used with a plural verb)

1.	a state of inactivity or stagnation

2. a dull, listless, depressed mood; low spirits


OK so maybe my year didn't start of as I hoped it would. The first two weeks I was horribly sick. Diarrhea , vomiting, headaches and a bad temperature.
The next two weeks were exams which were unfortunately very sucky.
The next week helloooo 4th term and another week at home which didn't kinda go out as planned cuz I couldn't catch up with a lot of people especially a few I really wanted to meet.
OK maybe I'm exaggerating a bit a few nice things did happen. But still if my life continues to be in this state of stagnation... hmmm not a good thing.
then theres the feeling that im pretty much outdated about everything and everyone. What has my life come to.
Heres to hoping for better days...

Its December 31st.
Sigh ... Another year down .

And how am i spending new years? Sober as ever with a path/micro/pharmac (or maybe forensic) textbook at hand staring blankly at the pages.

No parties, no plans no nothing. In a hostel with about five hundred girls and unable to do anything. Apart from that theres the regular what have u been studying u dunno anything at all line given by all the lecturers. Its like they were all programmed to say that as we struggle to comprehend what they say... neoplasia? metplasia? gangrene? cholecystectomy? streptococci? ipratropium bromide? inaba? ogawa?

... ya did i just start speaking a foreign language. Maybe.

Post 26/11

We all know about what happened on 26/11 and the aftermath of that.
So the question on most peoples minds is "so what next?".
Mumbai, Hyderabad , Delhi and now... Bangalore?
As thousands of people keep telling me the terror threat in Bangalore is quite large and we're sitting on a time bomb and dunno exactly when its gonna explode or hopefully very much just deactivate we just have to wonder so what are we really suppose to do?
Every ones going about their work normally but theres an increased awareness among people. Something makes a loud noise and we turn that way and sorta jump.
The area in which my college campus is situated is supposedly a very sensitive area where there are frequent riots and curfews.So the other day as we all drag ourselves down to the mess for breakfast and suddenly hear a BOOM and then flames everyone wakes up and rushes away from the window . Thankfully it was just some idiot who lit a fire with rubbish in it and something went off but hardly anyone went and sat near the window after that.

I just got back home to Bangalore today and my mom gives me a lecture about where not to go and what not to do. Do not enter malls and crowded areas. Be careful when going towards the majestic side etc etc. My mom happens to be slightly paranoid ( the understatement of the year).
Its affected all of us but are we handling this in the right way? Restricting our movements? Avoiding certain areas? And how long is this vigilance gonna last one two months at the max and then back to normal until something else happens?
Or can we prevent that?