Wednesday, 30 May 2007

Running out of optimism

Due to budgetary constraints , the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice

I have always been an optimist. Always looked at the better aspects of what could have been the worst of situations and this is precisely why I have survived till date.
Right about now I've run out of optimism. Oh I might survive but thats an entirely different story.
Cynics or any form of pessimism in general would turn me off. Rather I would avoid such people, afraid that they would dampen my spirits or even speak the truth.
But since my optimism is slowly diminishing. I see the beauty and art of the pessimist. The talent that is needed to give an air of dread and depression, carefully picked words which could only add to it.
Looking on the positive side has always been easy but looking on the negative side as rather very hard. And optimism does have ts shortcomings , relying on false hope- " maybe the suns going to rise in the west today". And i find myself becoming a pessimist. No light at my end of the tunnel...

Sunday, 27 May 2007

Melancholy in May

With everything happening so far its truly been melancholic. From the food I eat , to the clothes i wear , to the life i 'experience'.
To add to this is the atmosphere. My neighbourhood. When i first saw this place , about seven years ago, I was amazed any place could be so calming, so peaceful. Birds chirping , the leaves rustling in the breeze. The occasional sound of the car driving by, the sounds of the church bell ringing on Sunday morning at nine. Just serene.
After moving in here three years later , it struck me odd. The silence, as though it spoke a mysterious language i couldn't and probably wouldn't understand. I felt as though I was living far , far away.
Once I had been left alone at home, all alone with just my cat for company. At first , I was overjoyed by the prospects and freedom of staying alone. But then it was the loneliness, sadness and melancholy that overtook me.
Now i feel that again. Wherever I go. Something which I don't think I would be able to escape for sometime. That ardent hope has left me, left me with only emptiness...

Friday, 25 May 2007

Boast of quietness

Writings of light assault the darkness, more prodigious than meteors.
The tall unknowable city takes over the countryside.
Sure of my life and my death, I observe the ambitious and would like to understand them.
Their day is greedy as a lariat in the air.
Their night is a rest from the rage within steel, quick to attack.
They speak of humanity.
My humanity is in feeling we are all the voices of the same poverty.
They speak of a homeland.
My homeland is the rhythm of a guitar, a few portraits, an old sword,
the willows groove's visible prayer as evening falls.
Time is living me.
More silent than my shadow, I pass through the loftily covetous multitude.
They are indispensable, singular, worth of tomorrow.
My name is someone and anyone.
I walk slowly, like one who comes from so far away he doesn't expect to arrive.

Jorge Luis Borges

Wednesday, 23 May 2007

pluto and the tiger

Ever been amused at how fascinated your dog seems after he's taken one of your prized possessions and just galloped away? These are usually the way the retriever's behave like. They take something and run away with it. Even though this is a common behavior among them we still call them "retrievers".
Now this is a story about a dog and his best soft toy friend aka a stuffed Bengal tiger toy.
Pluto the dog was one day spending a lonely morning lying down wondering what havoc he could cause in the life of these humans today. With one human in the kitchen and the other two little ones somewhere inside, he didn't have any company. And then he saw it, the white stuffed Bengal tiger perched precariously on top of the shoe cabinet he stood up on his hind legs and got it and then slid down skillfully and stealthily as a jewel thief would have with his jewel in his mouth he began wrestling around with it. This attracted the attention of his human from the kitchen and brought her in. She tried to pry it out of his jaws , but alas they were inseparable or rather Pluto was a little too possessive . One of the little ones came out of the room and saw this occur she took a biscuit something that dog loved more than his life and made a bargain. At first he refused but then the over powering smell of the meat treat made his mouth water, so he decided to let to of tiger for a while and get back to him after eating.
But the little one was too quick, she quickly took tiger and placed it on a high point or rather something which she thought was at a high point and he would never reach, up on the spiral stair case. He was always afraid of that thing it just made him dizzy. But tiger his new best friend was right up there. He was willing to risk everything for tiger (except the dog biscuit of course).
So he started the scariest ascent in his doggy life , the spiral staircase climb and so it began, he climbed and climbed and there tiger was lying there, he reached and came down triumphant at his acquirement.
The little one had underestimated the power of Pluto, he was smart .. oh ya. He probably couldn't do calculus or become a rocket scientist but he could fool the average human and was greatly underrated and underestimated.
But then two of the little ones did finally manage to fool him and separate the tiger and dog forever. With a lot of whimpering and growling and surprised attacks though. Thus ended the friendship between pluto and tiger. Tragic.
Two humans against one animal, my my an unfair fight it was but Pluto was just too good..
now i begin to wonder if the dogs were given the right opportunities they would rule our planet,
it might happen someday, the whole world being their kennel !!!

Sunday, 20 May 2007

pitter-patter the raindrops fall

That time in summer when you feel so hot and stuffy and really wish it would rain to bring the temp down a bit. Its mid may and summer is in full force , making living in the tropics very... sweaty.
This is when we need showers . They make the air seem less dusty and really clear , streets feel clean ignoring the slushy bad laid roads of course. All in all a rainfall right about now might do some good. And since I'm not doing much these days i keep looking up at those heavy rain bearing clouds wondering when the first drops of water will fall. The heat is killing me, it leaves u feeling sticky and disgusted, and the only thing i could really hope for is cold soothing , showers.
I feel like a farmer except i don't have any crop :( but still i gaze at the sky with such expectancy but end up disappointed soon after.
Well showers will come someday , but as long as I'm not out and caught in it!

Wednesday, 16 May 2007


I stare at my ceiling wishing i had the answers to all my woes , worries and meaningless questions.
But i don't . I just continue to stare.
Wondering what would break me from this trance, and how it would, if it ever would. Dreams have been shattered and heartaches and mental wounds inflicted, i wonder what happiness was and how it felt like , it was but this long remote thing from some distant past. Drowning in misery trying to stay afloat but can not hence i sink into the depth of the misery, pain and suffering with no way out.

Monday, 14 May 2007

I'm soon meeting my maker

Oohh crap and now results. They come one by one each one scarier than the other plunging you into a state of shock , deeper and deeper. I would rather write exams over and over again than face results!

It was nice knowing you , oh cruel world... tomorrow is D day!!! Well lets hope for the best.
My melodramatic stage exit.

signing off

ps-my funeral is scheduled half hour after pu results . half an hour because the feeling of shock and sense of tragedy needs to penetrate through my thick skull. If the invitation doesnt reach you , you are cordially invited. Venue- probably the shittiest parking lot we could find.

Saturday, 12 May 2007

"Every person's fight with death is lost before it begins. What makes the struggle worthwhile, therefore, cannot lie in the outcome. It lies in the dignity with which the fight is waged and the way it finds an end."

-Joseph Fletcher

Pheromones as Aphrodisiacs

Pheromones are basically body secretions , which effect the organisms olfactory senses even though it is said that these chemicals have no odour thy work in mysterious ways.
One of these so called effects are the dormitory effect. This is when women living in close quarters or in a relationship fall into the same cycle thereby bringing about a synchronity in their menstrual cycle.
Unfortunately since the sense of smell in humans is not that developed pheromones do not play an important role. However it is said that pheromones are the scientific equality of a mythological cupids arrows. In many animals they are powerful sexual attractants. Or so called "turn ons".

Perfume industries have taken advantage of these pheromones and have designed synthetic ones or extracted them from animals and put them in perfumes. Even though they haven't been marketed as any such aphrodisiacs but as mood enhancers to relax and stimulate your senses they still sell.
The scientific community still has to give its final verdict on the pheromones. Are they really lust signals for love?

Thursday, 10 May 2007

the aftermath

So today morning is the day after last entrance exam of the season. Everyone asks everyone... so what next??
My cycle before today was setting the alarm for 4:45 am and continuously putting it on snooze a couple of times before waking up.Slept like at one and got up at seven today considering it strange that i usually need an alarm to wake up so early. Maybe the absence of the alarm actually woke me up. Funny as it sounds i made my self drift back to sleep as there would be no more thinking about so what subject am i going to study today or what do i need to do today... Had to tell myself i had nothing to do today except probably drift off. Seems quite strange considering the fact that i was waiting for today. But the end of the entrance exams has happened so suddenly that i have this empty feeling inside.Hopefully better days soon to follow.
Now i have to clean my room which looks like a tornado just hit it. For the first time in days i realised i've been living in a dump! Books ,papers, pens etc etc etc all lying around. My closet is such a mess. Dunno how i could even find anything for so long.
Have to start cleaning up.. but the fact is i've been hit by a wave of laziness.Had to go out for lunch today and had to make this huge effort to get out of my daze.

But with the aftermath also comes the sad part of the results. Scarier than actually writing the exam :(

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

What do u do?

Just finished some major exams and yet dunno how to celebrate.As my friend says " the freedom is so overwhelming you really have no idea what to do!"
Its like murphys laws- You never catch on until after the test.
To late to go back and think how badly you did that test. Just sit back and relax for the time being. Cuz u cant do anything else anyways!!!

Friday, 4 May 2007

Bread is dangerous!

This was absolutely hilarious, something which i came across-

Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

This article was written by B.S. Wheatberry in a desert after consuming mass quantities of yeast bread then realizing his canteen was empty. (seriously :P )

Thursday, 3 May 2007

The stupid stuff they make us do

What's all our knowledge worth? We don't even know what the weather will be tomorrow.
-Berthold Auerbach
If only we didn't have to through the continual torture of studying the prosaic anatomy of a cockroach. It is the heights of stupidity. Who cares about cockroach even if they survived a nuclear bomb blast? I don't how that would even help any student who has taken up biology understand the subject.

Tuesday, 1 May 2007

Nadie rebaje a lágrima o reproche
esta declaración de la maestría
de Dios, que con magnífica ironía
me dio a la vez los libros y la noche.
Let neither tear nor reproach
besmirch this declaration
of the mastery of God
who, with magnificent irony,
granted me both the gift of books
and the night.