Melancholy in May

With everything happening so far its truly been melancholic. From the food I eat , to the clothes i wear , to the life i 'experience'.
To add to this is the atmosphere. My neighbourhood. When i first saw this place , about seven years ago, I was amazed any place could be so calming, so peaceful. Birds chirping , the leaves rustling in the breeze. The occasional sound of the car driving by, the sounds of the church bell ringing on Sunday morning at nine. Just serene.
After moving in here three years later , it struck me odd. The silence, as though it spoke a mysterious language i couldn't and probably wouldn't understand. I felt as though I was living far , far away.
Once I had been left alone at home, all alone with just my cat for company. At first , I was overjoyed by the prospects and freedom of staying alone. But then it was the loneliness, sadness and melancholy that overtook me.
Now i feel that again. Wherever I go. Something which I don't think I would be able to escape for sometime. That ardent hope has left me, left me with only emptiness...